A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I keep fighting with my girlfriend. I can't stop being jealous of every single little thing. I can't stop being clingy.I'm insecure about everything and I feel like I am going mad. I think it has to do with my infidelity and her plans to move in with her sister I feel like she is going to leave me and I'm so afraid to be alone.I have been so depressed lately and I have gained some weight and I am struggling with my classes my life is in crumbling. I sometimes want her to leave to go with her sister because I know we wouldn't fight as much but I am so afraid to be alone that it upsets me.
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depressed, infidelity, insecure, jealous Reply to this Question
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (13 February 2012):
Oops sorry, I said "man" while I meant "woman". Unfortunately DearCupid does not allow us to edit posts, so I'm adding it this way.
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (13 February 2012):
This may sound harsh, but now is the time to make your back straight, keep your head up and tell yourself that this behavior is no longer acceptable. Sometimes we need to be the ones to kick our own butt. You're a grown man, OP. Your "crumbling life" is of your own making. You can remedy this, but you'll have to take responsibility for your own actions.
Insecurity is a hard thing to deal with, I know that. Confidence is something built in tiny little steps, but it's doable, if you give yourself the chance. You have a lot of good qualities, the ones that made your gf fall for you. If you're losing her, it's because you let everything else overshadow those good qualities. So take a step back. Stop making it about you. Because that's what insecurity is, being hyperaware of yourself.
So make it about someone else. Their feelings. Take your girlfriend for an instance. She's probably feels helpless and unhappy as well because she sees what you're doing to yourself and nothing she says or does stops your descend. In fact, it just makes it worse because you've become jealous and clingy. So, her move in with her sister might in fact be her way of seperating herself from the situation, taking a breather without truly breaking up with you.
So go the extra mile and take care of yourself. Start working out, pick up a hobby and stick with it. Whenever you feel alone with your thoughts, instead of looking for validation from someone, do something productive. It will be hard but it'll be worth it. Why? Because you'll accomplish something, and this will help you build self esteem.
You have to build a life that's worth living without a girlfriend. Your girlfriend shouldn't complete you, she should be the cherry on top of something that is already lovely without her. So try to imagine what kind of person you want to be and start actively taking measures to become that person.
If you really feel overwhelmed and the mere thought of the above makes you tired, please go to counseling. It can be just the nudge you need to get going.
Good luck and never give up!
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