A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing my guy for about 8 months now... im 20 and hes 35 - we get along perfectly and we never see a problem with the age difference... Today we had a great big fight because i told him im starting to think hes treating me like an "object" ... hes not even really treating my like this - i think i just said this because im just going through a down period and felt like abit of reassurance (im never usually one to whinge)anyway, he took this way too seriously and told me i deeply offended him. He hung up on me and turned his phone off... now im going crazy and dont know what to do - i feel like he wont forgive me!!! Can someone please help me or knock some sense into me?? And has anyone had an experience with an older man? im worried the age may be a problem if we decide to spend the rest of our lives together.Thanks xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007): Perhaps if you feel like an object, you are not entirely wrong,it seems a little petulant of him to put the phone down not return etc, a mature man should understand your needs for reassurance (at your age or any age) but most of them don't get it, so no need to panic there. He may be feeling guilty about having those 'object' thoughts of his own and you have picked them up and articulated them and he is angry with you for sussing him out?Doesn't mean that it is wrong but perhaps you both need to air this one if you are maturing in the relationship and if he is not, you will feel it. He may have his own insecurities about this.JLPS I think the above contributors have very compassionate views, how nice we women can be to the men we sleep with when they don't reciprocate.
A
female
reader, DIE-romantic.  +, writes (22 July 2007):
 I agree with Donna too. You cant just pick a fight really when theres nothing to fight about. No wonder hes gone all funny with you, because you've accused him of something he hasnt done, leave it a bit though, give him chance to think, if he doesnt get in touch after maybe a week, try and call him again. Good luck babe, at least you know not to try that again.Hope it works out okay for you in the end.xxxx
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (16 July 2007):
 i do agree with donna - you shouldnt look for fights wen there are none! and yes he is older than you and probably takes things like this in a relationship alot more seriously than you think. give him some time to cool down and then admit your mistake and apologise - explain why you did it aswell, he may gain a bit of understanding into how you were feeling. us girls usually try to take our moods out on our men and we need to realise wat we did and apologise! he's just hurting more than angry and just needs some time to cool down. just make sure you let him know that wat you did was wrong. good luck it will be ok! xxx
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A
female
reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT +, writes (16 July 2007):
 Hi hun,
You should not have said this to him if you didn't really mean it, you should have told him how your really feeling and that your going through a down period at the moment, he is 15 years older and will not appreciate playing games....I don't mean to sound harsh babes..
Why don't you pop round to see him tell him how sorry you are, that you love him so much but at the moment your feeling a little down thats all and that you didn't mean it, I am sure he will understand babes, give him a big hug...
He loves you and you have hurt his feelings that is why he is deeply offended, so go get him girl make up and enjoy each other love is the best thing on earth don't hurt each other....
Good luck babes,
Love Donna x
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