A
male
age
26-29,
*ndy24
writes:Hey guys, so i've had a crush on this guy at school (im also a guy and i am gay) but the problem is i've never had an actual conversation with him. Im also pretty sure hes straight even though he hasn't had a girlfriend. My problem is that im sure he doesn' like me back but i just really want to tell him i like him so i can get it off my chest and move on because i tell myself i can't like him but whenever i see him i get butterflies in my stomach and i get shy around him. What should i do?
View related questions:
crush, move on, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (30 September 2013):
Everybody has crushes on people in high school and lives with it. I used to have huge crushes on a couple of girls, but didn't have the courage to speak to them.
I think it's pointless to tell a straight guy who you don't even know, that you have a crush on him. It's pointless, and would likely just amount to a very awkward talk.
A
female
reader, malletchick76 +, writes (30 September 2013):
 Carpe diem, we're young! I'd say go for it because it will bother you until you do.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2013): I think you should take a safer route than approaching someone you hardly know, and telling them you have a gay crush. That would look a little crazy. It is quite foolish.
That may not be safe, and it may embarrass him to the degree he may do you harm. If you know a guy is straight, it is pointless in telling him your gay feelings. You will make him uncomfortable; and some people fear you'll stalk them, or start rumors. If you're that bold; they may have justification in being nervous.
Learn to just make friends with other guys, and keep your gay crushes to yourself, until you know it's safe. You don't go around pouncing on people like that.
It's not fair to force your feelings on anyone who isn't receptive. That is considered an emotional ambush. They don't get a chance to figure out how to handle it. With other guys, that can be pretty dangerous.
You won't be getting it off your chest. You'll be giving in to an impulse. That's acting without considering the consequences. That isn't a smart thing to do.
I'm gay also. I don't recommend that you do what you're thinking. You wouldn't like it if some girl tried forcing you to be straight.
...............................
A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (30 September 2013):
 Are you "out" to your friends, family, and classmates?
I ask because it doesn't sound like you know this guy too well. Suppose he turns out to be a homophobe... and freaks out when you tell him, and then tells his friends what happened. If your sexual orientation hadn't been common knowledge before, it would be after that.
If you're out and comfortable with it and he seems like a nice guy, I see no reason why you couldn't tell him how you feel. Just be prepared for him to decline your interest if he doesn't happen to be gay, just as you'd have to politely turn down a girl who hit on you.
Best wishes :)
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 September 2013):
 I think it's not a smart idea to tell your crush you have a crush on him. You don't even know him. I would say the same if you were a girl. A crush is like a fantasy, better kept to yourself. It can end really badly for you. Not everyone is tolerant.
NOW, if you get to know him, it might make sense, but you don't know him from Adam yet.
I would start by getting to know him.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2013): Tell him, even if he doesn't like you back, at least you got it off your chest.
You wouldn't want to regret it, you never really know how the outcome might be.
there's nothing to lose and could be something to gain, go for it! If he says no life goes on!
...............................
|
