A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I slept with a guy twice about 4-5 months ago. He's about 8 years younger than I am. We were supposed to get together again, but he never responded to my last text, and I haven't heard from him since. We have mutual friends, and it really bothers me that I never heard back from him, and I cannot shake him; I cannot stop thinking about him, and I don't know what to do. I am sure he's probably started seeing someone else, but all I want is to see him again, talk to him again, sleep with him again, something! I can't move past it, and it's driving me crazy. He liked me, and I think I blew it by being clearly too freaked out by our age difference, and now I feel really bad but don't know if that's what really happened. I just want answers more than anything. It's disappointing. What should I do?
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female
reader, TEM  +, writes (1 February 2011):
 My guess is that you cannot stop thinking about him because you lack closure. Sleeping with someone is an intimate act, even if you do not know the person very well. You gave something of yourself away and then you heard...nothing. That is unsettling.
What is it that you want to know? What are your unanswered questions? You might try sending him an email. Know that if he does decide to respond, he may not answer your questions honestly. Sometimes, even when we get answers, they are not all that helpful. If he doesn't respond at all, you will have to try to answer your questions for yourself.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI really appreciate your response, and I don't disagree with you at all!! I actually have only texted him once in the last 4-5 months, and it was the week after we last slept together/the week we were supposed to get together again. I never did ever text him again when I never heard back from him. The problem is that all these months later I am dying to know what happened in just 4 days that made him never respond to me, and why after 4-5 months can I not stop thinking about him?
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A
female
reader, TEM +, writes (1 February 2011):
I know it is very difficult to accept, but I believe this guy is not responding to your contact because he is no longer interested. 4-5 months ago is a long time for someone who is in their 20's.
It appears as if he has moved on and it would be best for you to do the same. You cannot force someone to have a relationship with you if they are simply not interested. I hate to be so harsh, but you must read his silence as lack of interest and move on.
You do not know this man very well. You have not spent very much time with him. You do not have that much invested in the relationship, so these thoughts you are having are verging on obsessive. Change the channel. Think about someone/something else.
There was a funny scene in a TV here recently -
Scene: guy talking into phone.
"April, this is like the 200th message I've left for you and you won't call me back...
So if you're trying to tell me something I don't know what it is, cause you won't call me back."
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