A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a girl through friends and we clicked immediately. Hung out in a group setting a couple of times and then had a date alone together. The date went well, we enjoyed each other's company, we had sex and she spent the night. I will say that I'm not very experienced nor very skilled in the bedroom and leave it at that. It is something I'm working on. However, despite this I have a fair amount of confidence and didn't let my shortcomings ruin the mood. I felt good about everything the next morning.She is a single, working mother and a very busy woman. It was several weeks before we could plan another date. The day of the date, she cancelled because she said she was not feeling well. I think this was genuine because she had spent a long weekend traveling and partying with friends and came home to resume working right away.However, since then it's the usual story I get from girls who are not interested in me. Basically, I've asked a few times if we can make plans together and she says she is too busy without coming out and saying that it's over.Ordinarily, I would just forget about her at this point. But I really believe that she was planning on that second date with me, otherwise she wouldn't have made the date. And I really believe we could have a lot of fun together. I've been very careful not to be too needy for attention, or show her too much that I like her, which I have done in the past. Really, I doubt there is even a future between us. I just want to spend more time with her and share more laughs and affection! But it seems she's not interested.Recently we hung out in a group together again and I acted like we were just buddies, laughing and smiling. Made no mention of anything. I met her daughter and made her laugh too. I really want to email her and tell her something like, "I'd like to see you again. This doesn't have to be anything we don't want it to be. Let's have some more fun together." But I think it will just result in rejection.Also, she is four years older than me. Given that, plus the 11 year old daughter, plus the fact that she's more sexually experienced than me, might make her feel like she needs a more mature man. I feel like probably she's looking down the road and seeing, like I do, that we are not going to end up together. But all I really want is to hang out once in a while and have some laughs and some sex!What do I do??
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female
reader, xxmissxx  +, writes (29 July 2010):
 ok, so you hit it off in the beginning, then she went cold.
this happnes all the time.
There could be a number of factors as to why shes backed off a bit,
her daughter needs her more at the moment, she could of met someone else, she might think you do want it serious and she doesnt. too many reasons to go through now.
The best way to sort out the situation, so she knows how you feel and you know where you stand is to spell it out to her, i agree with you, you should write to her.
try something like
"i know things have fizzled out a little, i really dont want it to, i enjoy your company , what do you want out of this and if nothing at all, could you just give me the benefit of the doubt"
then she can only say one or the other, she either wants to see you or not.
if she doesnt reply, theres not alot you can do , other than move on and forget it.
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