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male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I just want to know, what is love? I am sorry if this may sound like obvious to many people, but I don’t know any more what love means. I lost hope of love!! I thought I did know that, when I spent close to 2 years with my ex-partner, even though she convinced me so cleverly that her love for me so much and forever, and eternity, but soon I find out how naïf I was to think that, and believe that.I care for her, loved her, did everything in my power to make her happy , I stood by her through good time and bad, she became my everything, my lover , my soul mate , my believe, however soon I realized she doesn’t think that way, she was thinking all about herself and her successes, and her affairs in life and not us as a unit. Not just that, but I also realize this love that she expresses to me is just a word and in action this love does not mean anything to her. I start asking myself a question of how much I have to give away and compromise to make this work? I did so much, and more I did she wanted more and more, I said to myself these demands after demands making me miserable and unhappy, is this what real love is all about? Are you not suppose to make each other happy? Are you not suppose to stand by each others through good time and bad time? So why was all these had to come only from my side?, even that wasn’t enough.Then the arguments started and we split, I miss her, because I guenuinly loved her, but I could never undrestant her love, it was so superficial, it wasn’t deep as I thought of , but I was so blind not to see it. I am heart broken now, I gave away so much feelings, and energy and so confused now what did all that meant to her, ? may be I am thinking so traditional please correct me if I am wrong.What is love?Please advice meThanks very much
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female
reader, Patient1  +, writes (26 January 2007):
 I honestly believe that every relationship is different. The word "love" describes an emotion and it has different meanings for different people, some people simply love differently. It would be easy for us to sit here and judge your ex based on your input and offer advice to make you feel better, but the meaning of love is what you make of it. Sure we've all had bad experiences, what's important is that you learn and grow from them and use them to make the next one better. It hurts to love so much and to be let down, but use it as a learning experience. Instead of falling head over hills for someone instantly, take the time to get to know them. My biggest mistake was falling for someone based on the first few weeks of romance and newness. Then things would soon change after the newness would wear off and when we really got to know eachother. The differences sometimes out weigh the similarities and it's no ones fault really, it's just a difference in opinion. This is also a good elimination process to find someone who shares the same interests as you which makes you more compatible together. The best advise I can offer is to wait until you find someone who loves the same way as you do. It might seem hard to hold out for that person, but the reward will be much greater in the end. Good Luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2007):
I bet she has had some troubling times when she was younger... emotionally damaged people are incapable of love - at least until they figure out their issues and work very hard to correct them.
She sounds like a bitch who took advantage of your nice nature. You did well in this relationship, but its time to move on and not doubt yourself or your ideals of love.
Just think how great it will be when you meet someone with the same ideals of love that you have... amazing stuff... so put this down to experience - I'm sure you've learnt a lot, haven't you? The pain will get easier and you will be able to love again - with someone new. These things just take time...
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A
female
reader, Saz464  +, writes (26 January 2007):
 You will know when you are in love. It is one of the best feelings in the world and it would be uncommon for you not to find it in life.
This girl sounds to me like a user. She wasn't giving back anything. You are obviously better off without her.
There's someone out there who is searching for a guy like you who can offer security, comfort, interest, friendship, romance, etc. You just have to get back on the scene and find a new girl who will inspire you.
Trust me, you will find love and you will know when you have :]
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (26 January 2007):
 It sounds like you know what love is because you gave it. She, on the other hand, is a user. Users aren't lovers. They manipulate people to get what they need in life. They exist in a tiny shell of a world that evolves around them. You only gave of yourself. There's nothing you did that was wrong, except to fall in love with the wrong person. . . a user.
Don't give up hope. There are lots of lovers out there just waiting for someone like you.
Good luck!
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