| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: hi, Im 16 and i have a problem. my bro is 27 and i fancy his 19 year old girlfriend. We get on so well together, and are much more alike then him and her. Sometimes i just want to kiss her and I have strong urges for her. I think she does for me .What can I do? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2006): As Angelicc has said you have options.. but you have to think logically sometimes..and logically isn't usually thinking with your heart. You must think of your brother as well.. you guys have known each other all you're life..you've probably experienced things that go way beyond what you could if you pursued this girl. You say you want to kiss her? It seems to me that you may in fact have an infatuation..it may be just physical attributes or urges that you want to pursue as well. If I were you I wouldn't disrupt my brother's love-life.. and if you did.. what would it say about you? I mean lets think seriously for a bit.. there are other fish in the sea..(I know..I probably sound like your mother but still..) you'll have many chances to act on your desires.. I'd just wait for now. Respect your brother, your brother's girlfriend and yourself. It may be hard if you are really attracted to this girl but believe me if it's just an infatuation.. DON'T pursue it..from my past experiences it isn't a good idea and can only lead to more heartbreak. Lastly, as everyone says.."Listen to your heart" think about the things you feel..towards her.. is it just physical? Is it her personality? Is it deep down in your soul that you really desire her? Think about it. Personally, just have a sit-down with your brother and explain to him.. don't disrespect your blood and kin. Hope everything goes well! Glad you wrote in!
Buffy
A
female
reader, Angelicc  +, writes (8 April 2006):
 Okay well it isn’t unusual for a brothers/sisters to feel attracted to other brother/sister partners. but its still isnt something you act upon, if you love and have any respect for you brother you won't kiss her.
firstly are you even sure how there something between it might only be wishful thinking. if there is something between you two then theres a few options you have.
one, you could wait until they break up which maybe years.
two, you could tell you brother how you feel about her and he may either hate you, beat on you, step a side or be really sensetive towards your feelings.
three, you could act upon your feelings, which is a sure way to get your brother to get to beat on you.
four, you could just forget about her and with time you'll get over her.
...............................
A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (8 April 2006):
 You need to ask yourself how much do you love your brother, OK so you are closer in age to his girlfriend than him but she knew what she was getting into when she decided to go out with him, i.e. the age difference which isn't huge at the end of the day, only 8 years.
Don't hurt your brother and if his girlfriend is friendly with you, perhaps it is just that. If it is more and she has indicated this to you then be very careful, a girl that would even kiss a younger brother of her boyfriend's is getting a thrill of a younger guy being interested in her and she is not going to remain faithful to anyone so be aware that this girl is playing games right now and that is just not on.
The last thing you want to do is to fall out with your brother. If the girl is genuinely interested in you then she should not be going out with your brother. She should end the relationship and give it time for him to get over before you two get together if it is that genuine.
I have my doubts unfortunately so don't do anything rash as you could live to regret it and blood is thicker than water so remain true to family ties first and foremost.
You could ask your brother how things are going with the girlfriend and him and see what he says. If he starts to say no I think the age difference is too great then perhaps you could say I really like her and see what he says but also tell him that you would never do anything about it whilst she was going out with him so that he knows that you are a decent guy at the end of the day and will respect you more for this. It all depends on how close you are to your brother and if you can talk openly.
If they have an active sex life and he is earning good money then he has more to offer her right now.
I am not trying to be cruel but just realistic, talk to your brother first and see how it goes.
Good luck.
...............................
|
