A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't really know where to start. I just feel really down.Basically, over the last few weeks the health of my grandparents has massively deteriorated putting strain on my family. They're all dependant on us. At the moment one set is in hospital with different problems. My other grandparents are generally unwell. My gran is on and off depressed and has many other health problems so she's dependant on my grandfather. This is taking its toll on him so he's not well now. My parents are both only children so all the strain is on them.My parents also have demanding jobs. My dad is a manager and currently has big problems at work so he's constantly working. He's gone into overdrive, not sleeping well and not eating and he has to help with his parents. I rarely see him. My mum has low energy levels and has been off work for a few weeks already with stress. But now she's left running around taking care of everything and everyone.I'm 17 and going to uni next year. I have a lot of exams coming up over the next few months, the first in about 2 weeks. So I have a lot of work to do but I have to help at home. There's also my brother but he's too young to help much. I'm worried about going to uni next year as it is. I struggle with change so moving out, gaining independence and meeting new people will be hard for me. I have a good set of friends at the moment and I hoped they'd be there for me. They keep me going and I'm most happy with them. Although I'm best friends with them, they don't want to stay friends. They don't even want to try which upsets me. They don't know all the problems my family has and I feel like I have no one to talk to. I feel lonely, sad and depressed. I just want to get away from everything. I feel like I can't face up to anything. I just want to run away but I know I can't. I wouldn't do that anyway so I just feel down. Any help?
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female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (6 January 2010):
 That is a really difficult time for family issues, on top of friend abandonment, what jerks! I agree with the poster who said to talk to your parents, but I think it's also important, among exam period, to find time to yourself. Something that helped me when I was stressed and had a grandparent dying in H.S. what just lighting candles and watching them flicker for like 10 minutes, it sort of gave me peace. It might help to find creative outlets for your feelings, so if you like to draw or sing or something artistic, it is the best time to capture your feelings when you are overwhelmed, and it is a great way to feel back in control and usually, better about what was upsetting you. I've been keeping a diary since 6th grade and it really helps me sort out my stress, even come to some mature realizations that i wouldn't have had i not written off the top of my head like i had been doing. YOU time is important in a time of crisis. think about ways to better yourself spirtually, emotionally, physically, intellectually. I hope this helps.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (5 January 2010):
Please speak to your parents. They will really want to know how you feel. You're coming up to a big moment in your life, and you need to open up about how you feel to your parents and maybe your closest friends. Talking will help. You will be able to face things once you feel a bit more secure, and the only way to feel more secure is to make sure people around you know how you feel. You're going to be fine. :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): Wow, sounds like you have a lot of problems. But no offence, I get that your family is going through some shit, but you're only 17! You shouldn't have to bear all that weight, you should just be having fun with your mates!Clearly, the life you're living at the moment isn't working for you, so if I was you I'd just try to get through the next year then go to uni. You will hopefully find a fun new life there, make loads of new friends and just gain independence I guess. You can still visit your family as often as you want - you are not abandoning them! Just try your best to help out whilst you're still here, and try to strengthen your relationship with your parents, or you might drift apart if you go too far away.As for your friends, I get that it must be upsetting to be rejected by them, but if they're not gonna bother with you then there's not a lot you can do. It's a shame, but you'll probably make plenty of new friends at uni.So all in all, just stop worrying about everything - it's not your responsibility. Hopefully I've helped =]
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