A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There's a guy i've known for quite some time now and when we're alone i feel this 'connection' between us. We both become quite shy and although the eye contact is only brief, it is filled with such tension. Most of the time i avoid looking at him in the eye because the feeling becomes too overwhelming, and i've noticed at times when i do gaze at him he will make immediate eye contact but then look down about a second later. I feel very nervous around him because i like him so much, he is also nervous around me (i've studied his body language) so does this mean he likes me? and because of the awkward feeling between us, we barely say a word to each other which obviously makes it difficult for me to get to know him more. Getting to know him more is becoming a massive problem, partially because he is quite a secretive person (being a Scorpio) and rarely talks about his personal life, apart from one time when he confided in me about his sister who was rushed into hospital which was flattering in the way that he chose me to tell this to and i listened to him with great sympathy. I'm a big believer in friendship being the best base to a relationship; basically, to get to know a person very well before committing to a relationship. Therefore i will not make a move until we feel comfortable and know alot more about each other. There are so many things i would like to tell him about myself but we hardly have 'deep conversations', our communication is brief these days and it will be on a non-serious topic such as discussing what we are doing at the weekend etc.Compared to last year (when i was in his lessons and he sat next to me) i hardly ever see him now, and as a result we have drifted apart. I then came up with the conclusion that if we were to both to go the same party and get a bit drunk, we would feel much more comfortable around each other, and perhaps this would give us the courage to admit our feelings? afterall, the truth comes out when you're under influence. At least that way, i would know where i stand (i.e. whether he likes me or he doesn't) and if turns out that he does then we could make more effort to hang out with one another to see where it leads... The perfect opportunity for this was going to be thursday night, at a college party. However, i think he is going to different one now. But i haven't got I.D. to get into the same place as i'm still only 17. So that plan is out the window! i'm actually quite upset about it because i've been waiting for the opportunity for so long and i genuinely believe we could make it happen. I just want ONE night with him, i think that's all it would take to bring us closer then it could be the start of something new :) I feel as though we are meant to be together, but everything is getting in the way of it happening.Please help me xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2009): You aren't alowed to drink you're underaged
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (26 October 2009):
 I think you are a huge crush on him and that is ok - I felt the same way about someone in school at your age. While you can microanalyse your mutual behaviour for hours on end, if it was going to happen it just would...there is no point staging an event and getting drunk - it might work, it might end up just being an embarrassing disaster. YOu are right that friendship is the basis for romantic relationships that last - you have just got to be best mates or else everything will slide once the passion dies off. However, if you want to find out if he likes you then make an effort to see him in the daytime and start a conversation. Trying to get into a party where he will be isn't really going to work and you will be heart broken if he then goes off with another girl. Teenage boys sometimes have the attention span of goldfish when it comes to girls they fancy. You sound a nice girl and quite sensitive so don't put yourself through some drunken slobbering ordeal - track him down in the day time and ask him out for a drink or to 'help' you with some problem like homework (as mates of course...and see what happens!).
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A
male
reader, Anadin +, writes (26 October 2009):
 Hi there, you make sense in a way, but i dont really condone getting drunk, true they say a drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts, but if you want a relationship with him based on friendship getting drunk or tipsy is not the way.You should ask him to go to the cinema with you, or hang out in the evenings, go for walks, little things like that which get him to spend time with you. and if you really like him, then there is no harm in asking? maybe he liked you but was too shy to say anything...thats where you should make the move. i had always been to shy to talk to anyone in school or anyplace where theres lots of people, im no big fan of crouwds n felt like the ugly duckling, only to find out years later from an old friend that alot of the girls thought i was sweet and cute and where also scared to ask me out...so there is no harm in asking him :) if you feel that you are meant to be together, then make the effort to be together, dont wait for him all the time :) hope this helps- Anadin x
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