A
female
age
26-29,
*ourtneysue4
writes:My boyfriend wants to have sex... But I don't! I'm only 14. I'm an attractive girl, but every guy asks for sex anywhere I say no they run.. I just want an innocent relationship. I we can touch, and kiss but not sex.. How do I get a guy I be ohkay with this? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, courtneysue4 +, writes (5 June 2012):
courtneysue4 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I meet alot of guys who do like me, and me and my boyfriend both go to the same school which is a private Catholic school.. It's a small school because it is really expensive. There is around 20 people
in each class. Well EVERY boy that likes me is "pressuring " persay. I want to have a boyfriend experience in highschool, because I'll be even more awkward after these 4 years if I don't... But sex isnt an option.
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (5 June 2012):
 You sound very mature and I am really glad to read that you're standing your ground. At the age of 14, you shouldn't feel abnormal for not wanting to have sex. Don't let anyone make you feel that you're the odd one out because there are plenty of people your age who are not sexually active - I certainly wasn't at your age. You don't have to do anything you're not ready for, and no one should make you feel bad. I think you just have to stick to your guns and continue to make it really clear that sex just isn't on the agenda. If this particular boyfriend - who I know you like - doesn't get it, and he makes you feel uncomfortable, then you should move on. You're attractive and I know that you're intelligent. You won't have a problem meeting a new boyfriend and eventually you will find the right person for you who genuinely doesn't mind waiting. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, missmatador +, writes (5 June 2012):
 Dear Courtneysue4,It is going to be incredibly difficult for you to find a boy that will NOT proposition you for sex at your age. You are showing a great deal of responsibility for yourself by saying "no" and sticking to it. But you're not going to escape the propositions. You need to avoid situations where the opportunity for sex is possible. (Nights in without the parents, alone time in the bedroom, leaving the door open if you're watching a movie ect.)Most guys, no matter how old they get, will not take to getting revved up with touching and kissing if there is no outcome. However, a gentleman will accept that touching and making out is as far as you will go, if a little begrudgingly. If you feel too guilty about that then it is important to have some self control yourself.If your boyfriend continues asking and begins to make you feel sad, depressed or becomes unjustly angry at you then you should defiantely think about moving on to someone who is alot less focused on getting his whole 9 yards!Well done on being so mature about sex! It does you credit!Miss Matador
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A
female
reader, courtneysue4 +, writes (5 June 2012):
courtneysue4 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionEyeswideopen, I understand why you say that.. But I really like him.. And I'm happy with him just not the sex.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (5 June 2012):
 I suggest you hold off on the boyfriend idea for awhile. Just hang out with your friends and have some fun, make those teenage memories for you to enjoy later in life. Sex and teenage boys...tis the nature of the beast, with only the odd exception.
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A
female
reader, SOShelp +, writes (5 June 2012):
 It sounds harsh but if he continues to harrass you into sex then break up with him. I'm not surprised that you don't want sex yet! You should be having an innocent relationship! Did you know (probably) that it is technically rape if underage people have sex?
He's your boyfriend. He should respect your feelings and concerns rather than thinking about his own bodily needs. Don't give into him, even if he says he'll break up with you because it he can't respect you then he doesn't really love you. Just be persistent and if he respects you then brilliant! If he doesn't then you know that he was just a jerk trying to get into your pants.
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