A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my current girlfriend for 4 years. I still love her but the thrill I used to get from being with her faded some time ago and I really miss it. Recently, I've been noticing this really cute girl in my college (went back to college recently) who I'm very attracted to. I think I might be in with a chance and am considering asking her out soon. This doesn't mean I don't care about my gf. I just want a bit of excitement in my life. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2009): its hard to deal with your own guilt after! itl eat you up inside, think about if it was the other way around! how would you feel if she cheated on you? its extremely painful to be cheated on!!! if you love her you wouldnt want to put her through all that pain! besides carma gets everyone in the end! what goes around comes around! think about if you want your girl cheating on you! the newness wears off after a while but that doesnt mean you cant get things lively again! find another way. good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2009): You're pretty young and maybe you need to experience more out of life and relationships before you settle down for good. But DON'T cheat, it's one of the most hurtful things in the world to the person cheated on. You may think you can do it and get away with it, and you might be able to, but in your heart you will always know and eventually that will cloud your current relationship. If you're dead set on going out with other girls, you need to be honest with your girlfriend and break up with her. It's a hard thing to do, but much kinder than cheating. And who knows, maybe the thrill has gone for her too and she will welcome a break!
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A
female
reader, hurtingcouple  +, writes (13 February 2009):
dont do it! my bf just did a similar thing & he regrets it! i cheated & i regret it! wer tryin to work on the trust thing & its hard, plus cheating is extremely painful! if you love her talk to her tell her you wana be more creative, & honost tell her the sex is good but predictbl & you need to spice things up ask her to keep an open mind then make suggestions & ask her for some too. let her no its a bit uncomfrtbl 4 u too but the more u talk bout it the easier it gets. you can never erase the cheating! talk to her about her fantasies & yours! maybe even bring up swinging? if she mite b uncomfrtbl w tht suggest tht she can mostly b in control of it but you both shld agree so evryone can have fun. look for another way to fulfill your needs but dont cheat! plus my wer havn a hard time gettn the girl he cheated w to leave him alone! she wantd him 2 leav his family aftr only a few weeks. so experimnt w ur gf hav sex in public ?restrm elevator outside...? just dont cheat its not worth it!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2009): Great advice Leonardo, this guy is stuck, and isn't taking his relationship to the next level for a deeper love.
Sorry to say, but you will always be at level one, if you move on from one girl to the next. You'll be missing out on all life has to offer in a stable/loving relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2009): So if u need to move on everytime the spark is gone, that means u will never sit still.
Do something exciting with ur GF. Role play during sex, add accessories into it. W/E u do do not cheat.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (13 February 2009):
 If you ask this girl out then it is pretty much the end for your current relationship. I know that is a pretty rubbish thought but its true, you cannot date other girls whilst you have a girlfriend, its that simple.
So make your choice. Do you want the excitement that comes from first being with someone, getting to know them, all the amazing "new" feelings you get in a relationship.
Or do you want to be with someone you love and that loves you back, where you have security and comfort. Where you can be yourself around her and not have to try to impress her.
You are still young and must have been pretty young when you got together with your girlfriend so this is pretty typical behaviour; often if you are with someone from a young age you end up wanting to find out what else is out there and want to experience something new. If this is the case it does not make you a bad person and it is a perfectly good reason to break up with someone. But dont expect your girlfriend to be waiting around for you when you realise the grass isnt greener on the other side.
It has to be a choice you make for yourself and you need to feel like you are doing the right thing in your heart. But dont hurt your girlfriend by dating someone else, surely after your time together you must respect her enough not to do that to her.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Leonardo  +, writes (13 February 2009):
Every man in the world feels the way you do. After 4 years with one woman, the old thrill is gone. If you would have gotten married, you would have the new thrill of anticipating a child, buying a house, or building your future together. Those activities often make a stronger bond that goes beyond sex.
The thrill isn't going to come back with the present gf, and getting married now probably won't help (I made that mistake).
If you really want a new thrill, then you're just going to have to move on to the next love of your life.
I strongly believe a man must be a gentleman about these things and always be polite and honest. You must break up with the present girlfriend. You have to live with yourself - and cheating on a girlfriend is not honorable nor is it fair to anyone.
Have fun, but be honest about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2009): You are in a rut! Don't cheat on your girlfriend, if you love her. If you want to move on with your life you need to just break up and leave. If you want to spend the rest of your life with her you should both try to be more spontanous. You might want to take a couple of weeks break, without cheating, and just be apart from each other, remember abscence makes the heart grow fonder. So if you are away for awhile you might get that feeling again.
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