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I'm not happy here and can't make a future here. Should I leave?

Tagged as: Age differences, Cheating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 February 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 18 February 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, *strid Harlow writes:

I've been with my boyfrienf for ten and a half years. While we are polar opposites in terms of personalities - he is quiet, gentle and throughtful and I am outgoing and quite tempermental. he is also eleven years older than me. We fight like cat and dog, mainly instigated by me. I met him abroad and we lived there for 6 years before moving back to my home country to start a new life. Whilst he loves being here and enjoys his job, I regret the decision to move back and am lonely, bored in my job and have no real social life.

To top it off, I met a guy at work and we started an email relationship. It was an escape and filled the loneliness and boredom. Oh, he is married with three kids. His wife found his emails, and he stopped all contact. I know realise I have fallen deeply in love with him and can't seem to get over him. I am being awful to my boyfriend out of hurt for this other relationship and my answer is to run back abroad and start again. I know my boyfriend doesn't really want to go, but he is willing to do so for me. I do love him - it's hard to be with someone for so long...but I'm not happy here and can't make a future here. But I'm not sure it's right to make him leave either. Should I go on my own?

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A male reader, rodent man United Kingdom +, writes (18 February 2009):

Hi there

This is a problem that only you can solve, life really is too short to be in a relationship that makes you unhappy ALL of the time?

Life is also fuill of difficult decisions but i cannot see a way ariound this one --i presume you have tried to reignite the flames of desire and passion within your relationship, given it a fair chance? explained your problems to him? communication is vital here

If you have and still feel the same then im afraid its break up time, doesnt sound nice and it wont be, but you cannot go thru life miserable.

Stop the playing with a married man---you are probably not in love with him but with the idea of a man looking after you and wanting you---go and find one---there IS someone out there for you

Good luck xxxxx

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A male reader, Leonardo Indonesia +, writes (13 February 2009):

Some men are great boyfriends, and some men are great husbands - but many men are not both. You must dump the old boyfriend - and dump the already called for husband. Get rid of all the old freight and find a man who can be your true love and husband. You'll never find him in your current situation.

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