A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 16 and recently wrote about my boyfriend. I just want to write and get advice about how I feel cause I dont really have anyone to talk to and it's driving me crazy. I feel empty all the time or really upset and I don't know why. I feel like my boyfriend doesnt really care about me at times even though I know he does but he makes me feel like I'm the one who needs him and he'd be fine without me. He hates me talking to my lad mates so I don't speak to them much but he's often with his girl mates. He promises to meet me and see me but often blows me out. The other day it was my prom and he promised he would come and see me cause it really meant something to me for him to be there and he texed me half an hour before he was meant to come saying "sorry cant make it." I love him to pieces but we always argue (we always have and we've been together 9 months) and I won't leave him I just need him to show I mean something and he needs me.I left school this year and my mates split into 2 groups. One I dont really see that much and the other I was like best mates with although they all went off together and never invited me out anymore. I started off that they didnt invite me when my best mate said she wasn't going to come on holiday any more even though we had already booked it and paid for it. She told me it was cause she couldnt afford it but now shes going away with someone else and the only time I see my mates is when everyone does something together.I have a lisp and I am really shy so I'm nervous about going to college as I doubt anyone will want to be friends with me especially when they not be able to figure out what I'm saying.I hate myself and everything about me. I'm 4ft 11" and weigh 9 stone so I'm overweight as well as being really small. I used to weigh 7 stone and thought I was fat then but would do anything to be that size again. Everything about me brings me down and I can't take much more.I told my mum everything about how I feel and burst out crying telling her I hate how I feel and she said it's hormones and it will pass when it hasn't cause I've been feeling like this for months.I often think what it would be like without me here and who would actually care and who would really miss me and if I actually effected anyones life.I just don't know anymore and need advice as to how to stop feeling like this because its tearing me apart. Thanks x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2010): I think I came across wrong. Weve been together 9 months and we both love each other. He can be soooo sweet and hes just amazing but I just said that because that is what upsets me about him. I just feel like that when it seems like he doesn't want anything to do with me and I said that we've always argued because thats what we do, we always make up after.
I hope that makes sense. All the other stuff I mentioned doesn't have anything to do with him but thank you for your advice x
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (7 July 2010):
You have no choice but to leave him. It's not use you sitting there saying you won't leave him, and that you just want him to show he cares. Because he doesn't care at all. He blows you off half the time, he doesn't like you speaking to other guys but he's happy to speak to other girls, he never went to the prom with you, he told you he'd see you before and blew you off and in nine months all you've really done is argue. Those are some very good reasons to end it. I'm afraid he's just not going to change, and he's just not going to show that he cares. He's just not.
You come across as a very nice girl, but you're lacking in esteem so much that you're making poor decisions with this guy. Your esteem is the problem right now. You feel bad and empty about yourself, and you seem to think that he is the answer. He's not. YOU are the answer to your own esteem issues right now. You've just gone through some changes in your life, and naturally you're feeling lonely and threatened. I know how that feels, because I've been there and it's hard to get the confidence to make a break. But I was able to in the end, and I haven't looked back. What you're doing is clinging to your past, because it seems safe.. No matter how bad this guy is (and he's pretty bad really), you're seeing him as the 'safe' option. That needs to stop.
Right now, you need to be out focusing on your own life. This guy has no place in it. He does nothing other than hurt you, and in turn that damages your esteem even more. I really think that right now, you need to be single and focused on your own life. Don't be second best to a guy who so clearly doesn't care. Please don't waste your time with him. Your life is changing, and it's time to get rid of those around you that are dragging you down.
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