A
female
age
41-50,
*me76
writes:Saturday night I was out with this guy I have been seeing for about 3 months. We went to one of the Bars he is familiar with to see a band. I knew no one. Every time he spoke to someone (including a few women) he knew he would turn his back to me and have the conversation. So, I couldn't see his face or the other woman's. He never introduced me to anyone. For the majority of the night he was right next to me, until he saw someone he knew. Then he would move away. One of the women was literally touching him (in the stomach area). After that, I gave him the "time to leave" look. Then I noticed when we got back to his house, at 1 am, he was getting text messages. Usually he tells me who he's talking to. Not this time. I'm convinced it was the girl from the bar. Other than being really quiet i said nothing to him about it. I was really uncomfortable with the whole night.The reason I didn't say anything to him that night was because we were both drinking. I had actually drank quite a bit. I didn't want to say a bunch of stupid stuff that I didn't mean to say cause I was angry. Up until that point, he had been completely respectful towards me throughout the last 3 months. We haven't had any disagreements. We get a long amazingly, and the chemistry is out of this world! I just have this bad gut feeling that there is something wrong, but I don't know if its just because of past issues. Before this happened I really thought I was in love with this guy. I can actually see a future with him, and that's huge for me. He has text me like mad the last couple days. More than usual. So, I thought he realized I wasn't happy. Now he's acting a little strange. I still havent brought it up. I have no clue what to do??
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female
reader, Gridrebel +, writes (29 January 2010):
 Wow, how rude and insensitive to act as if you weren't there at all. Boyfriend or not, he is definately NOT a gentleman! Obviously, he wasn't trying to impress you with those bad manners. If I went out with someone that behaved like that, it would be our last date. I wouldn't be worried just about the bar maid. If all of a sudden he is texting you like crazy, he must realize he goofed up and is over compensating for his poor behavior. Maybe go out again if you are still interested, but this time when he turns his back and starts talking to another woman, brush in between and introduce yourself very prominately. This will get his attention on his rude behavior. Or turn around and find someone to strike up a conversation with - hopefully another man. Who knows, you might find him more interesting and probably much more polite. Also, maybe don't drink as much so there is no question on the actual goings on. This makes me recall a time when my husband and I were out at a night club and he couldn't keep his eyes off the bartender. We were sitting up at the bar on stools side by side. I left to use the ladies room without saying anything to him, when I got back he hadn't even realized I was gone. Needless to say, I was P*** off because he couldn't keep his eyes off this gal. So I waited a few minutes and got up again and went to talk with some friends (male) in the bar area. As I chatted harmlessly away, having a good time, he finally realized I was not sitting beside him. When he saw me chatting away with another group of people (men) it jolted him back to reality and I guarantee you, he never did that again. I told him I didn't mind him looking but he needed to keep his eyeballs in his head :) We laugh about it now but he knows I won't put up with that kind of behavior. I believe in the Golden Rule. If he doesn't want to be treated that way, he shouldn't treat me that way. Sometimes you just have to "show" them.
A
female
reader, kayxlovesxjamiex  +, writes (29 January 2010):
 just ask him.... if your not confident to do it now, u never will be!
keep dropping hints to him like.... oooh, your popular with the ladies.... what do mean?... well that girl in the bar.
youve got to ask him. hes probably told her to get lost alrready. goodluck hun xx
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