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I just got married and am not interested in sex!

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Question - (25 January 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 25 January 2012)
A female Zambia age 36-40, anonymous writes:

hello

please advise me; i am a newlywed with just about a month in marriage. i got married as a virgin but since then i have been having trouble making love to my husband; i am simply not interested. what could be the problem and how can i overcome this?

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A female reader, LovelyLemon United States +, writes (25 January 2012):

LovelyLemon agony auntOne mistake that many couples make is jumping right into intercourse. Try some foreplay; exploring eachother's bodies and finding those little tricks that turn eachother on (my fiance loves the insides of his elbows and wrists kissed). Women often need this warm-up to get in the mood for sex.

I'm assuming that you're attracted to your husband, so hopefully that isn't the problem. Try to make the experience fun for both of you, and it will get better. Trust me, as magical and sweet as my first time was, it's definitely not as physically amazing as the sex we have now! Just practice.

Much love and Best wishes

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2012):

well being a virgin until marriage theres probably been a lot of pressure and expectation of what it is going to be like!

are u affectionate at all with eachother orr not? sex isnt only just about doing it its about the affection, I enjoy cuddling on the sofa just as much as sex with my boyfriend both affections make me feel connected to him! it depends what your relationship is like, maybe you need to lay off the pressure and just enjoy eachother!

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A female reader, mizz.butterflies United States +, writes (25 January 2012):

mizz.butterflies agony auntif you dont love him, how will you be able to make love to him....? does his body attract you or you find it repulsive?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (25 January 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntyou will need to have a medical work up first to make sure there are no medical issues that have to be addressed.

do you love your husband? was this a marriage of choice?

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