A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok here it goes its my b-day and my man has surprised me yet again. He wants to buy a toy dildo and use it on me for HIS own pleasure. But its MY b-day im the one who should be getten Pleasured. Right? I was down for it at first.but started thinkin mabe he cant get it up or hes not attracted to me no more.Im kinda shy cause i never have used one with my man before,only by myself.i enjoying feeling all of him. Not no toy.im havin doubts about going threw with it. Feeling a little insecure. Dont know wat to do. Please help. Thank you.
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (26 January 2012):
 I was going to say I don't know how it's going to pleasure him unless he's putting it in his rear???
It's definitely for YOU!
In my opinion, he's doing it to change things up in the bedroom a bit. Which is GOOD!! Most men are intimidated by dildos. They don't want to be "replaced".
If you're still feeling insecure and don't want to feel less of him..then they have other toys which are couples toys. Basically vibrating cock rings, or other intricate toys that stimulate his balls and your clitoris at the same time. They're worth checking out.
A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (25 January 2012):
Your husband really could have just got it for your pleasure so don't go thinking badly about him as hes not being selfish. If you havent played with one together then it could be fun and you can use it to teach him what you like best etc. I bought my wife one, not for her birthday I should add, and she had a few great orgasms with it but I must admit it wasnt as effective as most men imagine from watching too much fake porn. The buzzing gets annoying after a while and it wasnt half as effective as my finger. Tell your hisband your willing to play but if you dont get a great orgasm you will choose your own birthday present :)
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (25 January 2012):
 This 'problem' is easily solved. Simply tell him you'd prefer he get you something else for your birthday. Pick something you want.
And as for toys in the bedroom...if you're only issue with them is shyness you could always buy a couple of things and try them yourself privately. That frees you to be objective without the pressure to perform. If you decide you still don't like it, simply tell him so and advise him what you do like.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 January 2012):
 I think you are over thinking it. Your man (IMHO) wants to try new things to get you off (and himself) to spice things up.
If he didn't find you attractive he would skip sexy presents.
Tell him you feel a little odd about it, but who knows it might be fun for you both. Personally I wouldn't shut it down so fast. Try it, see if you enjoy it too. It's not like he is inviting another person into to bed, it's "just" toys.
As for being shy about it, tell him that too. Maybe try it at night with only candles lit, so you won't feel as "exposed" and last but not least... if you enjoy a toy by yourself, it's really not a far stretch to enjoy it with your partner. Go slow.
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