A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok, I know this isn't a relationship question but I need help.I'm not quite sure how to put this but my life just sucks right now. I feel like it's passing me by, and it's really pathetic. I'm not sure quite how to put this, but there's a void in my life and I need something to make my life meaningful. I am a Christian and go to church and I guess I'm not seeking God like I should. I feel guilty saying this but there's just something missing. I sing in the choir and going to church is important to me.It's just that I need a LIFE, I guess. I work and then come home, life is passing me by and it's a drag. I have a few friends here but most life in another country. No boyfriend, and I don't really have a sense of identity or passions. My hometown is a real drag... and I have been bored to tears. I used to play the guitar, but I was in a band and was bullied out of it and I feel like once you've been kicked out of a band that pretty much bars you for life from being a successful musician. The guitar was my passion but I will never play the guitar again, EVER. My spirit is just broken for it. I MISS playing the guitar and being in a band so much but it's not for me. I've been very sad because it was my dream all my life, now it's over.I just want something to be my passion in life. I love music but I'm not good at the guitar, so I worry I wouldn't be good at another instrument. I would like to play the violin, actually I want to bad, but I am an adult and failed so miserably at the guitar so it wouldnt' be auspicious.I love horses but there is no way I could afford one of my own. I know how selfish this is but I always longed for a horse of my own. I want to get over it, but I keep longing for one. I just feel like I don't belong anywhere and my life is passing me by. I have always had anxiety and depression, and I'd pick up the guitar and forget why I was sad. I'm just bored with my life and sick of this malaise in my heart and soul! What can I do to, well, have a life?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2013): Volunteer for a horse rescue or a horse sanctuary if there is one near where you live. Animals are my passion (particularly dogs) and I volunteer for a no-kill shelter. There is such a wide range of things to do as a animal welfare volunteer. I have exercised and trained shelter dogs, driven shelter dogs around to their foster homes or to the vet for health care, I have fostered dogs myself, I have helped with fundraisers to raise money to help the shelter animals ...I also organize garage sales and yard sales to raise money for a local horse sanctuary. If horses are your passion you don't need to own one yourself to be around horses, if there's a horse rescue in your area. As for music. Why not start another band of your own? Put an ad in craigslist saying you are looking for other fellow musicians to get together and play music with and start from a fresh clean slate. So you got kicked out of one band, that happens all the time. You don't have to let this one incident end your music forever.Finally, don't feel bad about not seeking God "like you should." If you have a hunger to seek out answers to spiritual matters it will come to you on its own time. Don't let your religion make you guilty for not conforming to their rules of how you should be thinking. I seem to recall you have posted here before recently too? I recall quite a few Aunts suggested you talk to a counselor for help with your anxiety and depression. Have you been to see a counselor yet?
A
male
reader, human_male  +, writes (15 October 2013):
 Why do you feel that your life as a musician is over? Just because you got kicked out of one band? So what? If it's what you want join another band. Or start one of your own. Or just play by yourself if that's what you love.Maybe also look into changing jobs. Is there something you're interested in that you could look into?Aside from that just start trying new things. It can be scary and it takes effort, and I'm not one to talk because I'm in the same boat and have trouble motivating myself, but if you can think of anything you might be interested in try it out.Look at groups and clubs in your area. Meetup.com is a good place to start. Also find someone to talk to about your anxiety and depression. Talk to your doctor for starters and look into finding a support group. I found an anxiety social group on Meetup that has helped me.Just start slowly, one or two things at a time. And if you don't like something move onto the next. But just do something.I wish you well.
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A
female
reader, Miss.Cupid +, writes (15 October 2013):
 You do have a purpose in this life. Imagine, everything your dealing with now and in the future is in your own hands. First you say that you love guitar and that its your passion, but then you bring yourself down and say your not good, then you say its your dream, then you bring yourself down again and say you'll never reach it. Do you see a pattern?? You're bringing yourself down for no reason at all. I know this is a silly question but have you seen Yes Man. I belive jim carry stars in it, if you haven't seen it. well small story short, this guy all he did was work ,home,sleep then repeat. and then said yes to everything.now I'm not saying you should go crazy and say yes to every wild adventure.but would you actually do it?not go overboard of course. But try new thingsCant afford a horse? go horse back riding, go to a barn.You want to try new instruments? sign up for classes.You may even meet someone who shares something with you. love life way occur. take a chance, you do only live once I should say. go on a vacation. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, rodtod +, writes (15 October 2013):
First of all, know that you are not alone. You are not the first person to feel this way. It is a challenge that many of us face-- sometimes multiple times along the journey of life. But, I want you to know that you can overcome it! It may seem hard now, but there is so much joy to be found if you only know where to find it. There are many things that you talked about loving and enjoying. Guitar, horses, your religion - all of these things can still bring you happiness! My greatest suggestion is to find yourself! Make a list containing who you are. List qualities that you have, hobbies that you enjoy, your hopes, your fears, your dreams - make it YOU. And when you have the "paper you" in front of your eyes, I want you to think about your God. How does He feel about the person that you have written about? How does He feel about you? Think about how much He loves you, and how much He has given you. What does He want for you? He wants you to be happy. So be!! He has given you this time on earth to become the best you! Don't depend on outside sources to create your happiness. Boyfriends, horses, guitars, bands... all of these things are temporal! They don't bring lasting happiness. If you aren't happy with just yourself, nothing that you add will EVER make you happy. Find your center. Find your happiness. It has to come from inside. Love yourself. Love your life. Find joy in little things. You have a job! You have a stable income! You have a church that you attend! You are healthy! You have so much! Be happy! Also- when I'm feeling downtrodden about life, and upset with my circumstances, I have found one thing that lifts my spirits... Service! Look for ways to help others and you will find yourself being lifted higher as well. Little things like phone calls, letters, compliments to strangers... little things make all the difference. Focus outward and your happiness will increase inwards. It's a cycle of happiness! Be happy, do good, and love your life! You have so much to be grateful for, and if you focus on those things, you will instantly realize that your life is most definitely NOT wasting away. Don't believe that lie. "Above all, never lose faith in your Father in Heaven, who loves you more than you can comprehend." - Jeffery R. HollandYou belong right where you are. Believe in your journey. Remember who YOU are. You are a daughter of a King -- the Father of us all. He loves you. He knows you. And He wants you to be happy. So be.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 October 2013):
 1. Take violin lesson, try it out, sitting on your hiney dreaming big will get you no where. So what if you fail at it? AT least you tried.
2. There are more then one band out there. If you used to have passion for the guitar then pick it up, again take lesson if you want to improve.
3. Horses. I owned one from age 15-26 ( Sadly, he passed away) To this day I miss him and wish I could have another one. Financially though, I can't. However, I do go horseback riding with my kids from time to time. You don't HAVE to own one to enjoy them. Again.. TAKE lessons.
Maybe horses, violin, guitar isn't your passion, but that is FOR YOU to find out what is. I would suggest you look into volunteering. Giving something back ( even if it is only time)can really do wonders for the soul.
YOU are the only thing holding you back, you know?
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