A
male
age
36-40,
*earlover
writes:I had created a Facebook profile for my partner and lover of two years and he recently passed away. I definitely do not want to memorialize his profile because I just dont want to believe hes gone yet. So I am still logging in to his profile and updating his pictures, no status updates but still putting up more pictures. Is this wrong/strange of me, am I insane for doing that?
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (15 October 2013):
 Sorry to hear of your loss....
One of the phases of enduring a loss of a loved one is called "denial".... in which you (a person) chooses to not believe that the person who they loved has - in fact - died....
After a while, the evidence will pile up, and you will have to face reality.... Meanwhile, you are entitled to (allowed) t handle this matter in any manner that you wish.... DON'T feel that you have to "apologize" for the manner in which you handle your departed lover's Facebook account.... Let life go on........ and, maybe, you will release yourself from this in the future...
Good luck...
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (15 October 2013):
 So sorry for your loss.
I have a colleague who transformed her daughters FB page into a sort of memorial for her after she passed away. So friends could leave messages on anniversaries or birthdays, and generally share their grief. This was a few years ago and it's dwindled away with time but I think the page is still there. It helped the family and friends when they were going through a very difficult time.
As long as the contacts he had on FB know that he has passed away and you're not giving the impression that he's still alive I think it's OK and part of the grieving process.
Take care of yourself x
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A
female
reader, Sara_the_Slytherin +, writes (15 October 2013):
 I am so sorry for your loss.
The only problem I can see is if your friends don't know that he has passed on. They may see his profile and think he's still around and that would be unfair.
Everyone grieves in their own way, and no one should be judged for dealing with grief in the way that you are. Like Ciar said you can always make a decision further down the road.
I hope you feel better.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 October 2013):
 My Mom's FB page is still up, she died 4 1/2 years ago - my dad doesn't know her PW, so it will stay up til FB shuts it down.
I don't use FB myself anymore, but I do know quite a few of my friend have her on their friends list still. (and yes, they know she passed away, but she meant a lot to a lot of people).
I don't see anything wrong with it, though I do find it a little strange (sorry, I'm not sure it's the best word but that was the one that popped into my head) that you still update it with pictures.
I can see you updating YOUR own, with old and new, but not his. HOWEVER, this is YOUR grief and your partner. YOUR loss, so YOU deal with it the way YOUR feel works for you.
I'm sorry for your loss.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (15 October 2013):
 Nope. Neither wrong nor insane. In fact perfectly understandable and quite common.
Grief is a process. You learn to let go bit by bit. You know he's passed away and you're not acting under any illusions. So I don't see anything unhealthy or insane about keeping his Facebook page active for the time being. You don't have to make any decisions about it now anyway. There is no deadline.
My condolences on your loss. The pain is never gone, but it does get easier to bear over time.
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