A
female
age
36-40,
*azed & Confused
writes:I have an issue with my "closest" friend. I've known her for a year but we're really close. She always tells me about her problems and depression and I'm always there to listen and keep her company. Now she's made friends with her coworkers and is choosing them over me! She constantly goes out to dinners with them and then tells me she can't hang out with me 'cause she's broke! A really important anniversary is coming up and I asked her to go to dinner with me and my friends. She said she couldn't "promise" to be there, yet the weekend before, she's planning some big get together with coworkers for some guy she hasn't even talked to in months! Now I know where her priorities lie, I just don't know what to say to her and whether or not I want to keep on with this friendship. What to do?
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female
reader, Blackruby  +, writes (12 August 2007):
Unfortunatly when we lean on a friend when we are depressed, we tend to associate these feelings with that person. It sounds like she may not want to hang out with you because she associates you with venting about her depression. A way to rememdy this is the next few times you hang out, make sure you do really fun things. Go out to a club, go shopping and have a laugh. Then hopefully she will stop thinking of you as a shoulder to cry on and someone she can just hang out with.
A
female
reader, claire_A +, writes (12 August 2007):
sounds like maybe you should stop asking her to come out with you and just have fun with your other friends she obviously isnt a real friend if shes doing that especially if you're not invited to the big get together. I would stop calling her and eventually she'l wonder where you've gone and might come to her senses and realise that shes been leaving you out and she'l realise its not just a one way thing she has to call you, not you calling her all the timehope i helped xxxxx
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