A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My mum isnt lettin me and my ex get back together cause she think i will just get hurt again and i know she never liked him in the first place and the fact that it long distance doesnt help but the thing is it caused alot of prolems betweeen her and her bf and now i just feel like she makin me give up my happiness for hers. I feel like i've lost everything, i've lost the love of my life, lost the mum i thought i had and lost my friends and i cant even get out of my bed in the morning cause i feel like i've got nothing left to live for. WHat can i do?? i feel so hurt and depressed and the fact the its my mum thats doing it makes it feel even worse. i cant talk to her cause she just wont listen and will stop me talkin to him as well. i just dont know what to do, i feel like i've got nothing to live for anymore
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depressed, get back together, long distance, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (3 January 2008):
 Sorry you are feeling so down right now but I have to say that you are living under your mother's roof and are her responsibility until you are legal age. She rules the roost at this point in your life. Believe me as a mother I can guarantee she isn't happy if you aren't happy but that's the hardest part about being a parent. It isn't a popularity contest, she is doing what she feels is in your best interest. Keep busy and bide your time until you are older and on your own, then look this guy up and see if you are still so hot to trot, I'll bet you won't be and will be giving old Mom a grateful hug.
A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (3 January 2008):
 Just for the record I'd have to say I do agree in principle with Dr Vendetta.
However I don't necessarily agree with "... long distance relations Do Not Work... this theory may also be applied to internet dating. which also. Does Not Work"
OK under your circumstances it may not work if you or your EX doesn't drive... But speaking as someone who's sister met a guy on the internet, managed a long-distance relationship for a year and a half, got engaged and 3 months later they were married. Thy've been happily married now for about 5 years.
In their case they were both had cars and could drive - she was at Uni in the South East and he was in the RAF up in the Midlands and took it in turns to visit each other at weekends and spending holidays together.
In your case it might not work depending on how easy it is to get to wherever it is and how much you BOTH want it to work. At the end of the day your Mum is only looking out for you but YOU GOT TO DO WHAT YOU WANT. If you want to see him, that's up to you, as long as your sensible and it feels right for YOU.
Obviously, if your EX is a violent, abusive idiot then I'm afriad your Mum is right. On the other hand, if not, then it's up to you. IT'S YOUR LIFE.
It's the role of the parents to let their kids make their own mistakes sometimes. And I do like Dr Vendetta's comment; "Its commen place that mothers are born with a gene that makes them hate your bf's or husbands. just watch some old black and white movies. or search google for mother-in-law jokes".
VERY TRUE :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice but it wont help, she got her bf to fone him and tell him to back off and never contact me again or he would fone the police. I tried to tell her but she wont listen. i dont think i can go on with this without even being friends with him
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (3 January 2008):
 what can you do...well you could try thinking rationally about it.let me make sure i've got my check list handy so i don't forget anything.you're 16-17.. mother hates your ex. long distance relationship and suicidie.and so thats the basis of it.#1 ; long distance relations Do Not Work.yes you probably love him and pine for him. you're 16 and you don't drive and probably don't have a job.thus your long distance thing ain't gonna happen.( this theory may also be applied to internet dating. which also. Does Not Work.)Its commen place that mothers are born with a gene that makes them hate your bf's or husbands. just watch some old black and white movies. or search google for mother-in-law jokes.If you mum didn't care about you or your feelings she's ahve throwen you arse out on to the street as soon as she pooped you out. However She doesn't want to see her child being hurt by a guy.Would you not do the same if your mum was hurt by someone?when you talk to your mum. try being grown up about it.. i know you hear that alot and here is what i mean..when you start talking. be calm and collective. Do Not raise your voice. or swear or shout NO MATTER WHAT.if you do.. then you've already lost. if your mum raises her voice and shouts and you remain calm and respectful then yeah your mum does have issues.But only you can do it. if you can't remain calm, respectful and not sout or swear. then don't bother trying.i know its hard but as soon as you feel your blood boiling. Stop. take a deep breath and relax. theres no need to start an arguement as then you're back to square one.also. 16 - raging hormones etc etc see every other post for refference.
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