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I just discovered my boyfriend is giving his ex secret guitar lessons

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 December 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 11 December 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I went to my boyfriend's house a couple of days ago and I saw the photo of us was face down. He went over to put music on and suddenly it was upright again. There were playing cards on the coffee table and empty glasses. I asked who had been playing cards with him. He said it was someone who came for a guitar lesson. I said, who's that then? He said it was a friend who was interested in learning the guitar. I asked him if it's going to be a regular thing, as he didn't previously give guitar lessons. He said she was not very good and he felt she might not continue. I asked how he knew her, and he said in the past he went out with her. I asked why they were still in touch, and he said she had got in touch to ask for lessons, and he was a bit uncomfortable as he felt she wanted to get back together.

I didn't mention that I saw he'd hidden our photo.

Today, I asked about her again, and asked if he'd mentioned me. He said not. He said it hadn't come up. I argued that if she was trying to get back together with him, and he didn't want to, the easiest thing was to tell her he has a girlfriend. He said he didn't want to upset her by mentioning that.

What do you think? Is he cheating on me?

View related questions: get back together, has a girlfriend, his ex

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2013):

Possibily. Mention the photo and watch his reaction, that might tell you something.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (11 December 2013):

Honeypie agony auntIt sounds shady WAY shady.

Playing cards drinking and getting/taking guitar lessons? Yea, that sounds like BULL SHIT to me.

Is he cheating? There ins't enough to go on, but I think they were BOTH looking to see if the spark is still there and that in itself is wrong.

He didn't mention you but he HID your photo? No wonder "it didn't come up". HE didn't WANT it to come up. He didn't want to UPSET her? Seriously, if she was only there for "guitar lessons" why would she be upset by him having a GF?

I smell a fish.. fish a bull shit.. not a nice combo on the nose.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (10 December 2013):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntPerhaps he's not cheating... but he's sure being suspiciously aloof and non-forthcoming about what is going on, relative to this new "student" who is under his tutelage.....

Trust, but verify, and see what is really going on in his life... AND if you are REALLY his number 1 girl. I suspect not....

Good luck...

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (10 December 2013):

I can't be sure whether he's cheating, but the facts are pretty damning. 'Guitar lessons'?? Please. There are playing cards, empty glasses, your photo is face down and he's refusing to talk to her about you.

Let's face it, even if he's not cheating, you're not exactly up there at the top of his list of priorities. Time to have a think, because this isn't looking good one way or another.

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