A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am in so much trouble. I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and everything is great. We love each other and I really don't want to lose him. But there's this other guy who likes me. I ignored him at first but now I'm actually interested in him too. He has never prompted me to cheat or anything and he just flirts innocently with me. For the past week I've been texting this other guy and I really like him. No, I haven't forgotten about my boyfriend but I honestly can not choose one person. This guy that likes me isn't looking for a relationship or anything. At least not right now. We get along great and we're good friends but yesterday, I went over to his house willingly and we ended up making out. I have just cheated on my boyfriend. To be honest, I don't feel guilty at all. But I know its not fair to my boyfriend. I know I'm being selfish but I just don't know what to do. It's like I want both of them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): If you honestly loved your boyfriend.. you would of never done that.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): you can't have both of them. it isn't fair on all of you. like you said it isn't fair on your boyfriend. if you don't feel guilty about cheating and being unfaithful to your boyfriend you might not truly really love him. you need to not to anything with this other guy, until you realise who it is that you actually love more. if you find out that you love your boyfriend more, then don't do anything silly like text or flirt with this other guy, or any other guy for that matter. learn from your mistake, and be faithful to your boyfriend
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): you should feel guilty though if you really love him because you know it could hurt him... i have cheated on one of my boyfriends before and i didnt feel guilty at first but when i saw him i burst into tears and fessed up and he stayed with me... actually he is still with me no i just told myself that the other guy wasnt worth it that no guy is worth it... even though we barely knew each other at the time
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): firstly take a deep breath. close ur eyes. see what do u see. - ur bf or the other guy. cross ur heart and answer urself. if it is the other guy just say goodbye to ur bf and move ahead. and if its ur bf put a big fullstop over the other guy. u r not feeling the guilt may be because u want to justify urself. u just don't want to accept that it was wrong on ur part. but i tell u it will be very much hurting for ur bf when he comes to know. u need to explain to him that u got carried away and did not intend to cheat him intentionally - if u want to stay with him at all. and if u want to dump him than do it in a way that it does not hurt him much. but u got to decide because u can't have the cake and eat it too. all the best
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A
female
reader, sunandstars  +, writes (19 December 2010):
To be completely and utterly honest, you don't sound like the most loving and faithful girlfriend. If you truly loved your boyfriend as you described you wouldn't even think about having feelings for other guys and you certainly wouldn't make out with them. You should stop any interaction with this other guy and tell your boyfriend what you've done, because that way there's less chance he'll finish you than if he found out from someone else because, if he knows you're willing to be honest and redeem yourself he might give you another chance. Hope this helps and good luck.
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A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave +, writes (19 December 2010):
you have to make a decision as you cannot carry on as it is. the fact the you do not feel guilty speaks volumes about the state of your relationship and that's what should focus on first.
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