A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am really battling with something and i need your help. I am in love with my best friend and have been for almost 2 years. We get along great and can't imagin life without each other!! But my feelings keep making me feel sad, because i just can't see him as a totally platonic friend. It hurts when i fear he's out dating other girls... I don't know what to do. And I need help from you about how to get over him! Please do not tell me to date other guys (i realy don't have the energy to do that because no one compares to him). Please do not tell me that time will heal my wounds - it doesn't and i'm proof of that. Please don't tell me that i must cut him out of my life /make a clean brake from him - i really, really love him and we're important to each other.Thanks in advance for your help. :)
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (10 June 2010):
 Yup, if you don't want to do any of the things you mentioned, then that really only leaves telling him. I feel for you. I'm in a similar situation and I know how much it sucks. The girl I've fallen for has a BF, which makes it all that much worse.
Here's an insight about men that I believe to be mostly true. Men don't befriend women they aren't attracted to some way unless circumstance makes them. If he is actively pursuing activities with you and wanting to hang out for no other reason, then he likes you. He wouldn't do it otherwise. Men rarely have strictly platonic friendships with women unless they are work related or the significant other of a good friend.
A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (10 June 2010):
 Have you told him how you feel?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): It's not going to be possible if you won't do any of those things, the only option you have is to tell him how you feel and talk to him about bringing the relationship to the next level.
If that's alos not a possibility then there's nothing anyone can tell you, you're just gonna have to live with it.
It's hard enough to get over someone even when you do take the necessary steps, but if you're unwilling to take them it's simply going to be impossible.
If it's a case where he would never consider you as anything more than a friend, then you have to decide whether you want to live a life in love with someone you can't have, never able to find love anywhere else just stuck in limbo waiting and hoping that in the future things might be different. Or whether you'll do what you have to move on and pick up the friendship sometime in the future instead.
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