A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I told my boyfriend of almost 7 months that I loved him. He didn't say it back. I asked him why and he said he just doesn't feel that way. And that when he feels it he will let me know. He had a very nice ex girlfriend for two years and he said he never told her he loved her. Because he never felt it. I was scared I was going to end up in her shoes. I told him I felt like some type of prostitute having sex with the guy who claims to not love me. And he broke up with me. He claims the breakup is because of other reasons but I don't think it's a coincidence that the minute I told him that through text he called me and dumped me. He has anger issues and got fired from his last job because his coworkers felt scared and intimidated by him. Just please need some support since it just happened like 5 minutes ago and I'm pretty upset
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (31 December 2016):
 I think you are lucky to have got away with being dumped. Sounds like your ex is capable of reacting in a much worse way than that.
And for the record, demanding someone feels love for you is out of order. Just because you felt love for him does not mean he was at that stage in the relationship. Also, if he was with his ex for 2 years and never felt love for her, then this is probably a pattern he is going to follow in future relationships as well.
Sounds like you both have issues you need to work on. He sounds to have commitment and anger issues while you didn't act well either, accusing him of using you as a prostitute just because he did not tell you he loved you. I mean, really? You don't think that was just completely OTT?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2016): Apparently men are more reluctant to tell someone they love them, because they then believe that they will be expected to act differently, that the woman might start expecting more commitment and he might lose his freedom. Men are terrified of losing their freedom apparently. They also experience relationships in different time zones to women, they also don't think like we do with regard to a lot of things. If I were you when you're in your next relationship, I would hold off on the love talk. And I would definitely let the man say it first. Unless a man is completely bowled over in love, they can take a long time to start feeling it and feel a bit freaked out when it's said to them and they don't feel it back. To then add to that by accusing him of behaving in a horrible way (treating you like a prostitute) just because he didn't feel the same way was really uncalled for. If you feel like this, then don't have sex with a guy until they have told you they love you.To have sex with him, then drop the 'L' bomb and then go a bit psycho is exactly what men dread happening.I agree with the others though in that he sounds potentially bad news and thank goodness he's gone, although I know you won't feel like that now. Go on to You Tube and watch Matthew Hussey's videos. He's great at explaining to women how men tick. They're not like us. He explains all the good things to do and the things not to do.Good luck and try to leave him in the past. I have been with someone with anger issues and believe me, it's a nightmare.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (31 December 2016):
 I think you did the right thing for the both of you.
It's not fair of him to "waste" you time if he isn't SURE he feels something deeper for you. He did that with his ex, so it MIGHT be a pattern with him. I mean WHO dates someone for 2 whole years if they DO NOT think they LOVE that person?
And it's not fair ON him for you to accuse him of making you FEEL like a prostitute. That is below the belt (totally a pun) Did he come over, have sex and leave some $$ on the nightstand? My guess is no. So no, this isn't prostitution, it's a guy who probably has some commitment issues. But who is ALSO very honest. He could have lied and told you I love you too and NOT meant it. He might not BE there yet after 6-7 months.
But this is NOT the red flag,
THE red flag is him getting fired for having anger issues to a point where his co-workers felt unsafe. You think that wouldn't be directed at you at some point?
Be glad it's over. He might have some good qualities you liked but in the end... this is not the guy for you.
Cut the contact 100%, make sure he can't contact you at some point again. You don't want to get dragged into more with this guy. BLOCK BLOCK DELETE, dry your eyes and let him go.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (30 December 2016):
 On the one hand, I think you where a bit harsh with saying you felt like 'some type of prostitute' because he said he didn't love you. Then on the other, maybe you've dodged a bullet there, if he has anger issues on a scale bad enough to lose a job.
You can't force someone to love you, and possibly he may have come to loving you in return one day.
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