A
male
age
41-50,
*yritikus
writes: I recently sent a text message to my girlfriend that was taken out of context. She replied and I was drunk and said some really really mean things I wish I didn't say. I hurt her very badly. Is there anyway I can try to redeem myself? I do not want to be without her.
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female
reader, AylaJ +, writes (5 September 2007):
Depending on her personality... But the sounds of it you probably can't. If it were me I'd try to get over it but it was eat away at me. And also if these things you said were disrespectful then you might not deserve her. She deserves to be respected. She shouldn't be hurt by the person that is supposed to protect her just because they got "drunk".My boyfriend would NEVER EVER do that to me when he is drunk. I've had ones that did or would have and they were WRONG for me.
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (5 September 2007):
The best way to redeem yourself would be to be truly sorry. Accept and face what you did, it was a mistake. And show regret. I think you have already done this, so thats good! A lot of people arent able to admit when they make mistakes or admit that they upset somebody. Be proud of yourself for being able to do that.
Next step is to take steps in order to prevent a repeat or what happened agan. Because if you truly do realise what you did was wrong and don't want it to happen again, then obviously it makes sense to prevent it from happening. So work on a plan for this and share it with your gf. Being able to admit it to her face waht you did and then tell her the steps you are going to take so it wont happen again would make it alot easier for her to forgive you.
Now its up to you how you take steps in order to prevent this from happenign again. Personaly if I was you I would think about my drinking habits. Perhaps you drunk too much that nigght so you couldnt control yourself? Then think about drinking less. Perhaps you didnt drink that much but still couldnt control yourself? In this case maybe you have to think about quiting drinking or cutting it down to only special occasions. These are just ideas and you need to find what works for you and your gf.
My main point I have to stress is to take steps to prevent this from happening again. Because if you dont then that may show you dont care if it happens again because you arent tryign to prevent it. An apology is nothing without puting in any action to prevent the mistake.
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A
male
reader, duce00 +, writes (5 September 2007):
 Hi cyritikus,
Ive said things during an argument that I wished I could take back too. Your not alone there my friend! I guess I dont need to harp on you about drinking and texting. Hopefully you wernt trying to drive, drink AND text too! Watch those wild evenings dude!
I recently made an apoligy to an ex and it wasnt easy because I wanted to explain why Id said what I did. I have a quick witt and the mouth to execute it. When I get cornered into an argument (which I try to avoid usually) I can whip out some serious verbal kung fu and do damage that I dont really intend. Im not proud of that but luckily I am not one to pick fights so it happens rarely. In my case I left all of my judgement about her aside and simply made a genuine apoligy for being cruel. I really meant it too. She said she was sorry for picking the fight and we are friends again. If I had tried to explain why she had gotten my ugly side it wouldnt have been an apology, just a justification.
If you really care, just shelf your pride and show her that you are sorry for the pain you caused. It doesnt matter what she said or did if your primary concern is to make amends for what you did wrong. It sounds like you have a healthy consience. Just listen to it and not your pride and you may be able to set things right.
Best of luck man!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007): Hi
Kind of a difficult situation right here, lol.
Well, if your girlfriend sees that you're really, REALLY sorry and she really loves you, then she'll understand and forgive you.
If she's a proud woman, then it's probably going to take some time for her to forgive you, I mean, no one likes to be insulted for no reason!
But maybe you want to do something nice for her to show her that you're sorry? JUST LET HER KNOW, IN ANY WAY, THAT YOU DIDN'T REALLY MEAN IT, AND THAT YOU'RE SORRY AS HELL.
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