A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I hooked up with a new friend's ex-boyfriend the other night. They dated for about 6 months, have been broken up for a few (3-6) months and she does still have feelings for him (he broke it off). I have been friend's with this girl for a few months (after they dated) and she does still hang out with her ex-boyfriend and his group of friends. She also brought a date out to a mutual friend's party a few weekends ago. My initial reaction was to tell her - but now I'm torn whether that is the best thing or if by telling her I am hurting her, creating an awkward situation for her/him/the group and just shedding my guilt. He would prefer I don't say anything as they are still friends and doesn't want things to be awkward - but ultimately my decision. Some of "his" friends were out with us and saw us leave together so I am also afraid it will get back to her and/or our mutual friend - but her ex seems pretty sure that his friends won't say anything. If our mutual friend found out - I don't think she would tell either - especially if I asked her not too. If I don't tell her, I will feel horrible when I see her - especially if we are hanging out with his friends that saw us leave together - and when we hang out it's usually with the group. The 3 options I've thought of are 1. don't tell, 2. tell her AND tell our mutual friend or 3. tell our mutual friend to get her perspective (but does that put her in a bad situation?). What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (7 June 2010):
If you don't, and she finds out (which she will), she'll appreciate that even less. Best to get it out in the open.
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