A
female
age
30-35,
*ervy
writes:Hi Aunts,I've noticed that I often feel really guilty after orgasming, whether it be from oral or masterbating. I feel like I've got better at dealing with it (physically - I used to just tense up and freak out), but the mental problems are still there. I know that this sometimes happens when people have been brought up thinking sex is 'bad' or 'dirty' - this is not really the case for me. I am religious, but I dont' believe that there is anything wrong with sex - though I do feel guilty for enjoying it. I also have a hard time saying what I want, and what feels good. It's not a problem of being too shy, as much as feeling like I shouldn't like it.Has anybody had any similar experiences, or got any tips about how I can overcome this problem!Thanks in advance,mervy.
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mental problems, orgasm, shy Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Sir-T  +, writes (7 June 2010):
I know exactly how you feel because i am religious and had a similar upbringing to you. I usually feel guilty when i masturbate or engage in other sexual acts. i think it has to do with the fact that the mind condemns promiscuity because of what we know and it seems like we are letting someone somewhere down. Sometimes could even feel like we are letting God down especially if we've tried to stop but feel guilty.
The best solution to this lies in marriage but yh we are in the same boat.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): It may be that your self-esteem is low, and it is more noticeable after you orgasm because of the feelings of guilt you experience.
You say you feel like you shouldn't enjoy it. Do you feel like that in other areas of your life? Do you feel guilty when good things happen to you, or if someone does something nice, or if you buy yourself something? Do you just generally feel undeserving? If so, then I really do think you need to try and work on those feelings, on what is causing them, and try and boost your opinion of yourself. I know that can be really hard, as it is something I have struggled with for many years. For me, doing things to help other people makes me feel better about who I am, like helping on this site, or in other areas of my life. Writing about my feelings also helps me understand them too. So maybe there is something you can do which would help you feel better about yourself?
Just some suggestions. I hope something helps, take care. x
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker  +, writes (7 June 2010):
 Hi- umm it's not that uncommon to feel that way and you already seem to know that it's no a reasonable feeling to have. The problem seems to be a communication between the part of your brain that reasons that it is normal to have an orgasm and the part that feels it is wrong (which, as you say, has to do with your upbringing). I suggest you give it time; let the knowing and feeling centers in your brain sort it out. I'm sure they will eventually.
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