A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My relationship start off long distanced online. We started cam dating just a few days after we met on a website. She confessed to me that she loved me and wanted to try dating. I accepted and fell in love with her also. We had no real problems except with her parents. She told me that they would dissaprove our relationship, so she kept me a secret from them for a few months. Now, her parents know about me.Her brother has told me that she would have to cut all comunications with me. We are trying to continue doing this behind thier backs. Now i find out that she is being more limited and i cannot visit her, she is being forced to changing her number, and i cannot send anymore video dairies of my life. I was planning to visit her for the first time, now we cant because her parents are trying to do whatever they can to keep us apart. I dont know what to do anymore. I love her so much and trying to work with her into keep our relationship alive, but her family is trying to pull the plug on us. I wanted to ask her about our future if this keeps up, or gets worse, but im afraid we will break up. I imagen, that i would become another forgotten memory and dont want it to happen again, but her parents are just making it difficult. I...I just know anymore.... I want to continue to eventually be able to hold her in my arms, but i dont see it happening soon. What should i do?
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fell in love, long distance Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 June 2010):
 If you saw her in person it would have been even harder. You didn't do anything wrong, you gave a lot too soon, before you knew if it was safe. And now you got hurt. But we all do. What caused the trouble was her family, and the distance, remember that. It was not about what you did. It was about her seeing how many obstacles were in your way, and she judged it would be the best to let go, before both of you got hurt even more.
Best of luck, take your time to heal. Time heals all wounds.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's over. She broke up with me. I guess it was inevitable. Thank you for your advice. I'll try to control how much of my heart to give some next time and think of all the risks. I know we both rushed, and I gave way too much of my heart to her, but even though it's over, I still love her. I know it's too late to ask her to take me back, but I'm now thinking what I could of done differently so this never had happened. I feel so pathetic. I just wanted to see her once in person before it was over, and now... it will never happen. I'm sorry, thank you again for your advise.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI made contact with her. We just hit our first bump in our relationship. After what happened, she doesn't know how she feels. I ask her if she wanted to continue to see eachother and if she still loved me. She said she doesnt know anymore. When I asked if it was over and I hoped we could still be friends. She started crying. I told her it doesn't have to end and to think about it. Now she said can no longer text. Now I told her I will wait for her on messanger, our main way to communicte with eachother. I don't know if we should continue or if it is just inevitable.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guess. I just want closure if it wasnt ment to be but now i may not have it since she pulled this dissapearing act on me.
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (7 June 2010):
"Now she ran out and moved and said she had enough, she was out of here, and good bye to me."
She broke up with you!!! Give it a week to see if you hear anything from her, if not then LET IT GO! Do you understand now what you should do? You should do absolutely nothing, but move on with your life.
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (7 June 2010):
You rushed in too fats with so many things yet to be discovered. Your relationship with her was at a risk from day 1, not ever having met her in person, not knowing if her family approved... And so many risks that you ignored. Be more careful with your heart when you next time face a relationship. You barely knew this woman, and until you know more it is best to not give too much of your heart. With more experience you will learn to get to know someone better, to know when the relationship is serious and secure enough, for you to give it all of your heart.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat shoudl i do? should i wait for the week for her to contact me, or just assume the relationship is now over?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guess, i just wanted her to feel special. I know i may have gone alittle to far and still inexperienced in relationships, but i thought we had something. Now im second guessing with the recent activities. I just dont know...
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (7 June 2010):
Only 3 months! You have come on way too strong for this girl. After only 3 months, you should take things a lot slower! You love her and want to move to her after only 3 months, all fair, but the relationship has barely started! 3 months is not long. If this is happening after 3 years I would advice you fight for it, but after only 3 months I advice you to leave her alone and move on with your life. You went ahead very fast, and 3 months is NOT something to celebrate. You celebrate 1st month, 6 months, 1st year, and so on only every year. 3 months is not an anniversary.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnd its almost our 3rd month aniversary.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe worse part is the timing. I have finals and now I can't think staight. All I think of is her and can't get her out of my head. I'm even listening to her favorite song when I shouldn't... But I can't stop... I dont know anymore. I feel like my world is now crumbling to peices and will only continue until there is nothing left but dust.
(I don't know if this worked sorry if I accidently post it twice)
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe worse part is the timing. I have finals and now I can't think staight. All I think of is her and can't get her out of my head. I'm even listening to her favorite song when I shouldn't... But I can't stop... I dont know anymore. I feel like my world is now crumbling to peices and will only continue until there is nothing left but dust.
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (7 June 2010):
If you haven't heard from her in a week then it's over.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut how long? This is the first serious relationship I have ever been in and I'm scared and confused. I don't know what to do...
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (7 June 2010):
It's up to her. If she really loves you and wants to contact you, she will find a way. If you don't hear from her however, assume the relationship is over. Find a woman who is willing to fight for you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, but now I think I just blew it. I argued with her brother and she said that if we bother comtinued that she wanted us both out if her life. Now she ran out and moved and said she had enough, she was out of here, and good bye to me. I don't know if she broke up with me or not. I'm trying to make it up to her but I'm not getting any replies from her. I know she is pissed, should I wait a couple of days for her reply, ask that our relationship has ended or assume that it is?
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (7 June 2010):
 As a parent myself I can tell you that if I discovered my child (when he is older of course) having an internet relationship then I would be concerned. With all the horror stories you hear in the media and a bit of common sense thrown in for good measure, it is hard not to worry and try to save your child some heartache in the meantime. I do understand why your girl's parents would be trying to stop this in case you turn out to be a serial-internet-dating bogeyman. However I also understand that you sound genuine. If this relationship is going to work out then you both have to get some stamina to resist the pressure of parents. If I had listened to my parents then I would have never married by now-husband. Sometimes you have to stand up for what you want and you both have to make an effort. You are both of adult-age and free to meet if you want - even if it is without parental blessing. If she is reluctant to do so, the relationship just wasn't going anywhere. If you don't have her phone number or email now, write her a letter and send it to her college or place of work. But at some point you are going to have to accept that if she doesn't wish to meet you against her parents wishes then it is the end of the matter.
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