A
male
age
30-35,
*rBrightside90
writes:Hey there,Thursday I was on the phone with my girlfriend, I had to address some issues. For example; It bothered me that she never came up with ideas for dates. I always came up with stuff to do, I always ask her; hey do you want to hang out? She never asks me. Anyway I told her this stuff on the phone, and she got all offensive on me. She got really mad and ended up yelling at me, telling me she was sick of my insecurities. I have a very hard time expressing my feelings so I sometimes start to cry when I cant find the words. This happened to me on the phone too, she did not show any empathy and even laughed at me. I kept asking her why she is acting like this. She had her reasons, and she was not telling me, because she does not trust me anymore. I told a secret (about her having an eating disorder) to a friend of mine, whom mom is doing work as some kind of psychologist, I thought that maybe he could help her and me. But when she found out she was furious, so she wont trust me with anything now.At the end of the phone conversation she stated that I was being needy. And I feel like she is walking all over me and playing some kind of sick game. I sincerely do not know why, we have been together for 11 months now. I honestly do not love this girl anymore, but I am afraid to break up with her, and I don't know why really. Anyone want to share their thoughts ?Thanks, Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Lina319  +, writes (10 May 2009):
 Ignoring her is just pointless. If you two start doing that, whats the point of being together then? A relationship is a bond between two people who willingly want to interact with one another, in good and bad times, if the solution is to ignore each other, one day, two day, three day, its time to seriously re-think your relationship. You said it yourself you don't love her anymore, and you dont want to be with her, so why are you holding on for dear life? Let her go, there is nothing to be afraid of... will it hurt? yes, but not for long. Initially its painful, but as time goes on, we realize hey wtf was i thinking I cant believe I spent so long dwelling on someone who didnt even give a shit about me. Like I said, break it off, for your own good. Or if you just cant stand doing that, I suggest you write her a heartfelt, long message and send it to her so she can read it.
A
male
reader, MrBrightside90 +, writes (9 May 2009):
MrBrightside90 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have tried communicating but she doesn't seem to care, she only cares when she feels like caring. And when she does not, she does not give a rats ass bout my feelings.
Would it be a good solution just to ignore her ?
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A
female
reader, Lina319 +, writes (9 May 2009):
I don't think you are being needy. If you are unhappy with the way she acts in your relationship, then by all means its better to express it than keep it bottled up which will only leave you with resentment towards her.
But, if this is something you do often, she might just be at her boiling point. When we are with our significant other, hearing them complain about the things we do wrong gets annoying, and it makes you feel like you arent good enough, and can sometimes stir up guilt that really shouldnt be there. In any case if she cares about you then she should want to work things out with you.
As for her laughing at you, and treating you this way, maybe she too has fallen out of love with you. Or she is so furious about you betraying her by exposing her secret, she is getting back at you by being a bitch.
Your best bet is to talk to her. I notice a lot of people on this site have issues with their partner, but the solution is usually to talk it out. Communication is key. Have a talk with her, let her know its going to be a serious one, and lay your pride aside, open up as much as you can and express how you truly feel. If you have trouble finding the words, then write everything you can down on paper, and then memorize the main points so when the time comes your anxiousness wont get the better of you.
If after this conversation she is distant, and she acts like she doesn't care, then that should answer things for you. When things get serious in a relationship, people do too, if only they are willing to endure such a hurdle for someone they care about.
Good Luck
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