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female
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anonymous
writes: I had sex for the first time a few days ago and we used a condom. I had been advised to use lubrication but chose to ignore it, but when we started out i was in so much pain i ended up using the vasaline that i happened to have with me, which solved the problem. I have heard that vasaline causes the condom to desintergrate so it is more likely to split or something along those lines. Is this true? The main question of this post is what am i now at risk of? I am on the pill for medical reasons, and had chosen to disclose this information from my boyfriend so not to lull him into a false sense of security and end up being careless. However, i did tell him about the pill when we made the descision to use the vasaline. Also, he has had a lot of ex girlfriends and i have heard rumors in the past of him having STIs. I confronted him about this before i chose to have sex with him, as he was joking that he had herpes and i wasn't sure if he was just winding me up or not. He said he gets himself checked out regularly. So what risks do i need to be aware of?
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condom, ex girlfriend, herpes, the pill Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, nicolexue  +, writes (11 January 2008):
There are over 65 million Americans currently living with an STD, 19 million new STD infections each year, one in three sexually active men and women living with Herpes, and about 50% of all sexually active Americans affected by HPV. One-third of all single and dating Americans now exploring online personal ads (BusinessWeek, 2006) and niche dating has never been hotter. more at STDromance.com
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2006): If you heard that vaseline breaks down condoms; why did you chose to use it, especially when you have concerns about him having STD's-herpes??
It was responsible of him to inform you he has herpes; did he say he had an outbreak?
Being that he was resposible enought to inform you, I don't think he had an outbreak. Using condoms while having an outbreak will not stop the spread of the virus.
Patients are strongly advised to obstain from sexual activity when suffering an outbreak.
1 in every 5 Americans suffer from Herpes.
It is true that herpes can be spread when no symptoms or outbreaks are "present" as while it is reproducing-it is still viral.
He should be on medication and I would ask which one. There are creams that are topical and used when and outbreak is occuring.
There is also a pill form that can be taken daily to prevent an outbreak or can be used when and outbreak is occuring.
The best solution is to use a preventive pill daily and his doctor will know the proper dosage to help prevent the herpes outbreak. I imagine if he is still having outbreak on the pill, the dosage will need to be stronger.
When ever you suspect coming into contact with someone who carries a STD- go and get testing done.
Herpes can only be properly diagnosed while having symptoms.
Your local health department is the best avenue to get FREE testing and they can best inform you of treatment.
Never put your personal health safety at risk; if you have doubts (about your partner and his sexual lifestyle)-go with out.
Best wishes.
*hugs*
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A
female
reader, Hot (Advice) +, writes (21 July 2006):
 Ugggh why would you even want to be sleeping with someone who's been around and had unprotected sex? The fact that he has to get himself checked regualrly proves that he does have unprotected sex, or has been careless on a REGULAR basis! Is he sleeping with anyone else as well? Ughh...sorry, yuck. You are at risk of ANY STI's...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2006): No, vaseline is definitely not a lubricant! It can indeed disintegrate a condom. KY jelly is what you should use.
I hope you will go and get checked within a couple of weeks, not only for herpes, but other STDs, including HIV. A smear from your vagina will tell the story on Herpes, and others: a blood test will check for HIV. You need to allow a little time in case an infection might be incubating, for it to show up (they don't necessarily show up right away).
I'm not trying to frighten you, but you do need to TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR! Hopefully, you are not infected with herpes (or anything else), but considering that your boyfriend has had many gfs in the past, and you've heard rumors that he has had STDs, getting checked IS VERY IMPORTANT.
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A
female
reader, Jadzia1127 +, writes (20 July 2006):
 Oh dear, I hate to sound so disappointed but, honey you weren't ready for sex.
Vaseline is not a sexual lubrication and should Never be placed inside a woman's vagina. Ky jelly is the usual standard and can be purchased at a grocery store. For the people who are in the know, the overall favorites are 'Wet' normal or flavored or 'Astroglide'.
Herpes can be contracted even when your boyfriend isn't experiencing an outbreak.
You really need an adult to talk to about this stuff before jumping with your eyes closed and your vagina open.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2006): KY Jelly. It's water-based and won't compromise condom usage. As for 2nd question... No idea, need someone else to answer.
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