A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im a guy , aged 17 , i had a fight with my best friend and she was supposed to go with me to my high school prom, she tells me that she doesnt want to be friends any more because we fight too mutch and she is tired of it. I dont want to lose her friendship, she said that she will stil go with me to prom but that i shouldnt expect any thing after that, now i hear from her brother that she is thinking of ditching me. Pls help, what can i do to get our friendship back, any ideas ppl?
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female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (20 April 2008):
 Well the feelings you have for her have either got to be put to one side or you basically tell her that it is hard to see her with other guys and that is why when you seem to get closer the jealousy kicks in and yes that is why the arguments start again.
The only thing you can say to her is that now you know you could lose her friendship once and for all it has given you one hell of a wake up call and the last thing you want is to trash your friendship. If she allows your friendship to continue then you will back off and give her the space she needs, if she can see that you are saying to her you are prepared to allow her to have her freedom then you demonstrate a maturity that perhaps you haven't displayed in the past.
She obviously does not want to get involved with you again on a romantic level I am guessing?
If boundaries are clearly set out then you at least know where you stand. What you have to try to do is to regain her trust and obviously she is feeling wounded and hurt.
You could offer a small gift of some sort - something you know will mean a lot to her depending on how your funds are right now but put it alongside a note or something and try and hand it to her and let her know that you realise you have been a jerk or whatever you think she will respond to, I don't know like I said before what your argument entailed but there is obviously more to this than meets the eye and she is either withdrawing because like you say she is fed up with the arguments or something has struck a chord in her about what was said during that argument.
You need to have friends outside of just her and display to her that you can allow her some space and make sure you do not give up on other girls either as you may have put all your eggs in one basket and to be perfectly honest if she is not prepared to forgive you then you need to look around you as there could be a girl who has been waiting for you to ask her to your school prom but knows you will not ask her.
Sometimes there are people under our noses and we don't see them as we are too wrapped up in other people who cannot give us what we want or need.
Don't forget yourself either in all of this and remember life does go on no matter what OK.
Display strength of character and maturity as girls will respect that.
On the other hand if she won't listen to you or let you try to explain your side of things or read your note then you will have to walk away and give her space as things could well settle down in the future and you could regain your friendship, it has happened before and could happen again.
Do a note or something I think and then see how the land lies before you make any decisions about your high school prom. When is it btw?
Take care and here any time OK or you can message me direct to my mailbox OK.
BFN
Country Woman
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe always seem to argue when we get close
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo be truthful, i have feelings for this girl, we have known each other for 4 years now, but after the first we parted ways and just started speaking again for a year now. Sometimes i do get jelous of her going out with other guys, she says i wont change but i really want to , how can i reasure her that it wil be different this time
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (20 April 2008):
Well maybe you could put your thoughts down on paper i.e. a note or an email but maybe handwriting a note saying look you know that the arguments have got her down and the last one was a big mistake and that you value her friendship more than she knows and you would rather sit down and talk to her about it all than hear that she is so upset with you that she doesn't want anything more to do with you.
I don't know what the details were of your argument but can only assume that some hurtful things were said on both parts but maybe some of your words were more cutting than you realised.
I don't know how long you have known one another or how close you have been i.e. brother and sister like or what but you can only try and get to the bottom of this if you really want to salvage this friendship and maybe admit some of the problems were your own and maybe think why you have argued so much. What do you argue about?
Why does these arguments start and do you feel more for this best friend than just friendship?
Is there some jealousy going on here or does she associate with other friends that you don't like?
Numerous things that could be going on but it is hard to know without more information.
Friendships that are truly close can sometimes be salvaged but only you know whether you are truly close enough to get over this bad time as it sounds to me that she is trying to avoid having any time with you so that the stress of the arguments stop as well and the only way of doing that is to cut off all ties.
Here any time OK.
BFN
Country Woman
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