A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:How long is a long time to wait for a guy?Dear all - I have been involved with a LDR guy who isn't the most reliable guy in the world but I do care for him and he has been making contact regularly to me.However, recently he hasn't been in touch with me for about a week (I tried to contact him but havn't heard back yet).Therefore, I wonder has he given up on me or will he be back? 18 days is the longest we've been apart without contact!!Please advise - especially if you are a man with a similar frame of mind! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (6 August 2010):
 GOOD! : - )
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPanic over - I heard from him today!! - Thanks for your replies!
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (6 August 2010):
I have an LDR friend in the UK and we talk on Skype usually once a week. We're still at the stage of being good friends who enjoy one another's company and find each other attractive. I was in the UK for five weeks in the spring and that was when we began to get better acquainted (we attend the same church when I'm there) and I'll be going in Sept. for six weeks, so will be going on some outings. We're both busy so once a week or so is the norm in our case.
As TimmD said, every LDR is different.
However, I'd say that if things are generally going well between the two of you, he most likely will be back in touch before long. He could just be busy. I wouldn't worry too much if I were you......
For what its worth, my friend and & find plenty to talk about - we have not felt the need to discuss "relationship stuff" - and I for one am in no hurry......
Anyway, I expect you'll be fine; let us know if you like.....all the best!
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A
female
reader, kglo +, writes (6 August 2010):
i am also in a ldr and when they dont call paranoia can easily set in! However from personal experience jumping to conclusions dosent help for example my boyfriend didnt contact me for three weeks everyone told me to get rid of him..i considered it deeply but how could i just end it wen i hadnt spoken to him for so long, i eventually lost it and sent him quite a nasty text only to hear he had been in a serious car accident. My point being do not stress over it hes probly busy or stressed mite even have manflu...try texting or calling him and if it doesnt work out, you deserve better!
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A
female
reader, Brooklyngirl +, writes (5 August 2010):
 Well...in my opinion, if I hadn't heard from my guy in a week, I would start worrying!
I too am in an LDR. We talk every night and sometimes twice on the weekend. That has been our pattern for over a year.
I get nervous when he is late coming on line. Call me insecure, but LDRs are very difficult and the imagination can run wild when you're so far away from the one you love.
You did say that 18 days have gone by without hearing from him in the past. It's all a matter of what you are comfortable with. I feel that an LDR should be just like a local relationship. How would you feel if you lived in the same town and hadn't heard from him in a week?
Sounds like he is taking you for granted and knows that you will still be there when he is ready to come back online.
I suggest you NOT contact him again, wait for him to make the next move, and decide from there how you want to deal with him.
Good Luck and Best Wishes!
~BG~
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (5 August 2010):
 You're going to have to give us some additional details on your relationship. How far away do you live from each other? How many times do you SEE each other a month, 6 months or year? On average, how long do you two talk a week? How long have you known each other?
Each LDR is different. If you talk every single night for a year and then all of a sudden you don't here from him for a week or longer, something is wrong. But if you only talk occasionally and rarely see each other, then a week doesn't sound too bad.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (5 August 2010):
 Unless he's in the military and overseas in Iraq with lil connection to a phone or computer then I would say a week is to long. LDR and he isnt that reliable? Ouch..When he waited 18 days to contact u what was his excuse for that? LDR's do work(im proof) if both parties are willing and communication is key which he is lacking...Then I would let him go ur wasting ur time. Communication is struggling on his part and it will eventually end. So be the dumper before youre the dumpee and get into a relationship with a man u can see and touch!
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