A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Recently my girlfriend and I broke up on good terms. During our relationship we both made strong commitments about love and the future. About a week later after the break, we were hanging out and everything went really sour. The reason is that the night before, we were out together and she was very flirtatious with another guy and so the next morning I didn't call to go to breakfast and she assumed I did this to piss her off intentionally. I did it because I was hurt and did not want to see her, as the guy she was flirting with was going to breakfast with me. I told her how I felt and she responded by telling me that I couldn't handle being around her and that I should never try to impress her again, as I was writing her letters and surprising her with flowers, every now and again. Now before the break I began making her a book chronicling our relationship that I was gonna give to her on our anniversary, just a few days ago. I have spent a lot of time and money on it as well poured a lot of energy and love into making it. It has been roughly a week since she told me not to contact her and about two weeks since the breakup. When is the best time to give it to her and what is the best way?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2009): I want to thank you all for your responses. It is hard because I loved her so much and I do not know what the future holds. As far as I can tell she just wants to be single. I can only hope that eventually she will miss me enough and give me some signal so I may know to give her the book. I don't want to go through life knowing that I spent time and love on it to never give it to her. I don't want to look back at how it may of changed things. As you all have expressed I will not give it to her right away. I shall wait until I she will be comfortable in receiving it.
A
male
reader, dddddddd  +, writes (7 March 2009):
It sounds like now would be a bad time to give her the book. She has asked for distance and giving her a gift like that is heading in the opposite direction.
You need to think hard about what the gift will say. To me it says look how good we were we should get back together - so only give it to her if that is the sort of message you are wanting to send. If it looks like you might get back together then that would probably be a better time.
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A
female
reader, KickRox +, writes (6 March 2009):
 In my opinion..no contact. She has asked that you do not contact her. Make her miss you. If she is the one for you, she'll be calling sooner or later and wondering what's wrong, why haven't you called her?
In regards to the book...don't give it to her just yet. Wait until your relationship is back on again. By giving it to her now she'll see it as your way of trying to fix the problem. And you don't want that! Instead you want her to realize how much you care for her and put time and effort into this book.
Best of luck! And keep me posted. :)
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A
female
reader, ButterflyKisses +, writes (6 March 2009):
Please do not give it to her. She asked you not to contact her, and she has made no efforts to contact you. You will come across extremely needy and desperate. This is never an attractive quality. It's obvious that you still care for her, but you will not win her back by appearing so needy.
If I were you, I would continue to leave her alone and avoid seeing her. Let her miss you. If she decides that she truly does care about you - she'll find you.
Goo luck.
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