A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:In my country a girl must be whipped and shed blood for there to be a good harvest. If we flinch we dissapoint our clan. We then also aren't considered women... just girls. If I succeed I get a husbund. But I'm scared. Do you have advice? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Wisdom  +, writes (17 April 2008):
 Um, What part of South Africa are you from? I am sure there are places you can go and get help.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): Immigrate. These beliefs are bizzare.
I'm not saying that British people are right in what they believe and that they rule the world etc etc, BUT what happens over here is, if someone loves someone, and the other person loves them back then they get together. Then they may get married. This is a together thing not a forced thing.
Life is to precious to be spent being ruled by other people.
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A
female
reader, bemused  +, writes (13 April 2008):
 Hi hun
Au unusual quesion here with no clear cut answers. I learned a long tme ago that there hundreds of different cultures in the world and with that many differetnt attitudes and ways of seeing thingg. Your culture has a clear cut ritual from childhood to adulthood. Many fo us here come from cultures where it is a long drawn out process. Your question was so unusual that I wondered if it was authentice but I will assume it is. I have a quetion or two. Do you know who the man is who would be your husband? I have heard that some arranged marriages can be ok.Ideally we would all like you to have someone who was kind and would support you in your goals and your dreams. What makes this situation intolerable is the fact that you will be hurt ( physically and emotionally) and your so called prize would be someone who might continue to hurt you. Is there anyway you could avoid this situation. Easier said than done when you are the age you are and it is imbedded in your culture. What are your dreams for the fuutre...is there anyone you could tell these to. I would suspect that rying to avoid this situation could put you in more danger. Groups like Amnesty International strongly disagree with kind of thing. Are you close to a large town or village? Some of the posters mention a regligous organization. They might be albe to help you at the onset but you may not want that life for the rest of your life. Are you happy where you are living and other parts of your life. Please give a little more info.
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A
female
reader, damaged  +, writes (13 April 2008):
Hey dont let this happen to you its not nice it will be painful and 13 to 15 youre not a woman yet youre still a girl poor you, mail back please xx
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (13 April 2008):
 It is your culture and your custom.
Go ask your mother or other women relatives for their advise.
They could help you overcome the fear.
Do not think of the whipping , but think of what you will get after you go through this ritual.
You will be considered a woman in your society.
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A
male
reader, agonyunclechris +, writes (13 April 2008):
 Give up this life ! is it right that to be ruled by a man , which is probably the way your marriage will run you must be tortured ? whipping is a brutal form of punishment not a Test !! if i was you i would find a nuns convent and live a life with god . it will be better that the life you have currently and maybe you can do something to stop this situation happening to other girls in your position. Good luck. love and lightchris
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A
male
reader, madflash  +, writes (13 April 2008):
 In my country many men pay good money to be whipped and have their blood shed without any regard to the harvest (or to their wife and kids for that matter). They just do it for a good time. The man is called a pervert, and the woman who gets paid by that pervert to do the whipping is called a Dominatrix.Just as the practice in your country, all of this is very seedy and disgusting, not something a young teen girl should have any part of.Seek out a nun in a christian convent or mission in your area and escape your situation. It's a great excuse to get out of your backward country, and why would you want to marry a man from that third world hell anyway? He'd probably cheat on you with livestock! ESCAPE, girl. Run to a mission for protection as fast as you can. YES! Forsake your family and friends, but write to them often. And try your best to get to America, citing Political Asylum!!! Remember those words. Say it after me, "I need POLITICAL ASYLUM because my life is in danger!"MOVE TO AMERICA!Either that, or take your lashes and marry your goatherder.Best wishes and good luck.
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