A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am having a real problem getting over my ex, and I really could use some advise. I am sorry if it seems so long. First, let me say a little about our relationship. When we met, she was a few years younger than I was and she was my first love, my first sexual experience, my first date, my first everything. I honestly fell in love the instant I saw her. After a while, I cheated and we did go our separate ways, and married other people-and she married my brother. We both have been married about 15 years, and have not been with each other during this time-but we were both always watched very closely by our spouses. My wife has always disliked her for this reason. Recently, she passed away and it has been very hard for me to cope. There was so much I wanted to tell her, I never lost my feelings for her. I always hoped that someday I would have the chance to tell her how I felt, just to let her know -I know she had feelings for me-but I don't know how strong they were-out of family sake we never gave chance the opportunity. There is really no one I can talk to because of the situation. It is driving me crazy, because all that I can think of is her, every day, every night-I see her face, I smell her perfume. I can't stand the thought of so much that I left unsaid. I feel that if she had not been married to my brother that we would have gotten back together years ago- Is there anyone who has had this sort of problem and what did you do to get through it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to all for the advise. I do believe going to her grave and just allowing myself to truly grieve will be a good start.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2008): I agree with the previous poster. Your wife would be devastated if she found out you have spent fifteen years of your marriage loving another woman. Your post leaves me with an impression that you would have unfinished business with her if she was still alive. I guess you are feeling regretted for not letting her know how you felt for her. If you could not resist the urge to pursue her, you would probably have casted a shadow on your family. I honest do not think it is worth to ruin her marriage and break your wife's heart. Try to recall your affection for your wife. Let Bygones be bygones.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2008): First let me say how sorry I am to hear of your situation but from a completely objective point of view there is NO WAY you can go to this woman and tell her how you feel. At least not without permantly damanging your relationship with your brother and possiably damanging your relationship with her and then damage the relationship between her and his brother. There is nothing good that can come of this unless they were to break up on their own without outside interference. It seems to me that you are very much aware of your own losses right now which is certanly understandable but do not make it everyones loss.
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A
female
reader, LoveButLost +, writes (13 April 2008):
I am sorry to hear that you lost someone you love but it's never too late. Even though she is not phyiscally here anymore, go to her grave site, talk to her. Let it all out b/c if you don't you will not be able to move on. No matter what happens she will always have a special place in your heart. Lovebutlost
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2008): I am sorry to hear that you lost someone you love but it's never too late. Even though she is not phyiscally here anymore, go to her grave site, talk to her. Let it all out b/c if you don't you will not be able to move on. No matter what happens she will always have a special place in your heart.
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