A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my girlfriend for just over 4 years, we met at university and have been together ever since. However I can remember as little as 6 months had passed before I started to have doubts; the doubts were usually pushed aside by long periods of feeling pretty happy. Now I have thoughts on a regular basis that the two of us should probably go our separate ways. There are a few problems in that we are living together (though I am paying the majority of the rent), my gf has had long periods of depression and has appeared to attempt suicide on more than one occasion, this makes me feel as though leaving her could push her over the edge and as I still like her and get on with her, it's probably best to not say anything and hope she eventually gets fed up.I find that often I have nothing to talk to her about, it seems that Ive said everything already, what makes it worse is that I am fairly quiet anyway and I dont feel compelled to talk endlessly, so I often think that I would be much happier by myself - its not an issue of not wanting my gf, it's an issue that I don't want anybody. If any of this makes sense I would appreciate some help.
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female
reader, didda123 +, writes (19 January 2009):
 It seems like your relationship has run its course now and you are being sensible and honest about the situation.
I have been in a similar relationship before where occasionally i felt that things were not as good as they could be, but as you said once you push those feelings aside things are alright for a while after, nevertheless, they resurface again and so on and so on.
Eventually you will probably come to a point where you can go on no longer and i think given the fact that your girlfriend has suicidal tendencies, it would be better to try to explain to her now how you are feeling rather than letting everything reach boiling point when you would be in much less control of the situation. Point out that you still care very much for her well being and that there is no one else involved but you have been having these feelings for sometime now.
There will be a lot to sort out considering you are presently living together but maybe you can involve a good friend of hers or a family member who could be there for her as well.
It will be a very difficult time but don't let fear of suicide or depression cloud your judgement it would be wrong for both of you if you stayed just for those reasons.
Good luck i hope you can help her get closure on your relationship in the most painless way.
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