A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I think that I am just highly insecure and crazy. Okay, my boyfriend has a best guy friend and he moved in with my bf and i after he came out of jail cuz he had nowhere to go. His girlfriend of three years also broke up with him cuz he was abusive to her and the last time he was in jail was cuz he was on probation and broke it when he went to see her and was therefor sent to jail for three months. Anyways, he came to our two bedroom apartment. He is a straight guy and loves women from what I know, I have known him for as long as i've known my bf which is about nine months. I have extreme thoughts in my head that because my boyfriend and this guy, (they have been friends for almost 3 years) go out almost everynight to the beach, which right across the street from our apartment, and all they do is get drunk and stay out there until 3am. I am not saying everyday, but everytime he has the chance, they go and get so drunk and then my bf comes home really late and wants to have sex and he already knows that I am mad cuz he is home late.. I don't know how to put this, but this guy friend of his always makes gay jokes and talks funny in front of me how he wants my bf to suck his cock or cuddle and so on... I really didn't care at first cuz I know for sure that my bf is not gay and is a homophobic from what he told me, but I have this women intuition that keeps on telling me that while they are out together alone at the beach and extremely drunk that they might be touching and having sex or giving each other a blow job or a hand or something. I don't know why I think that, and so one day, the last time they went to hang at the beach alone late after midnight, I went like crazy and I followed them!Anyways, to make the story short, I followed them everywhere and made sure they couldn't see me. I went to the beach and they weren't there, so I started walking towards safeway near the house cuz I figured they might have gone to get more liquor. So I was walking around and then suddenly I seen from a distance talking and laughing, so I went up close making sure they can't see me and I sat behind the wall and started listening without being able to see what they are doing. And I heard my bf talking about this story that happened to him where he was having sex with some girl a long time ago, and then I heard his guyfriend say that he was already "hard", and then I couldn't tell from the voices which one asked the other one to give him a hand and then I hear laughter.. After that they started to walk, I was frightened but I couldn't follow them right away cuz I didn't want them to see me. Anyways, by the time I caught up with them they were already back at the beach, so i tried to spy on them at the beach from afar but I couldn't really hear or see them clearly cuz it was so dark and waited for them to walk back home an hour later, and then I followed them home and I confronted both of them and they were both really upset and seemed to be shocked that I thought that and my bf was crying for real. I was kinda scared that I was wrong but I had to let it out, they both assured me that they both love pussy and that they never have ever done some gay stuff like that ever. They seemed really sincere and I really felt bad and I believe them. But I am wondering why do I get those thoughts in my head as soon as they go to hang out together? Am i crazy or what? Do guys do stuff like be gay and make out if they are straight? Help me.
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blow-job, broke up, drunk, in jail, insecure, moved in, roommate Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioncan anyone explain to me what kind of sexual contact do non-gay guys have with each other? please someone help me out. I need to know so that I stop feeling paranoid and sick about this whole thought. thanks
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2008): Guys often do, more than is probably admitted, have sexual contact with each other. It doesn't mean they're gay, but it's just an extension of their friendship and can be seen as male-bonding. You're perhaps a little paranoid that they may be seeing each other more to the exclusion of you and you're feeling insecure, so you're looking for an explanation.You're not wrong to have these thoughts because it may be happening, but as you say you're sure your boyfriend is not gay, then try not to worry that he'll ditch you for him or another guy. Mark.
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A
female
reader, superrrshawna  +, writes (14 August 2008):
 oh god, i can totally relate!!! my ex boyfriend and his friends would ALWAYS talk to gaytalk to each other. i knew they were all straight. he had me, his friend had a girlfriend... but it always made me uncomfortable since i wasn't used to it!
honestly, i think it's an emerging trend or something. just like the word "hella" or "that's hot", guys are starting to get openly lovey dovey! girls hug and grab and comment on each other's physical appearances, i think it's about time men start to get as comfortable in their own skin i guess? i have heard girls say "if i was a lesbian i would do you." heck, i might have said it myself.
i'm kind of surprised your boyfriend started crying, though. when i told my guy i had an inkling he might be more bi than i thought, he just gave me a look and said i thought you of all people would know the truth! he didn't cry...
good luck!
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