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female
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anonymous
writes: how can i leave my husband when my family will turn there backs on me?please help me i have been married for 20 years and have 2 grown up kids. 10 years ago i became pregnant and my husband felt i could not cope. so he persuaded my mum and dad help him convince me to have abotion.after i did i began to feel let down by him and had a fling with some one which i ended. 2 years later i met a man who i became freinds with i found i could talk to him about every thing and any thing (some thing i can never do with my husband).even tho we are both married we became lovers and for 1 st time in my life felt loved for "who" i am and not what i am, daughter/wife/mother.the man i became lovers with has now divorced and wants to be with me but. how can i leave my husband when my family mum/dad/brothers and sons will all turn there backs on me.they all think my husband is perfect and can never do any wrong. i have done every thing i can to make all my family happy but now feel i need my happiness and want to spend the rest of my life with my lover with out losing my family.please help
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female
reader, meandcharlie +, writes (5 February 2006):
I am in the exact same situation! My husband and I got married when I was 18, and we've been married for a little over two years. As we've gotten older, we've just grown apart. He never wanted to have sex, he was very controlling.... Nothing abusive, but we don't get along anymore, and I don't love him anymore.
In October, I started cheating on him with another man. It was just supposed to be a new fling, but I have ended up falling madly in love with my new man. He is sweet, romantic, funny, and does 1000 little things my husband would never do. I am in the middle of divorcing my husband right now - just waiting for paperwork to go through.
My family now refuses to speak to me, and my best friend doesn't want to see me anymore either. If you make this decision, it WILL be very hard. But it's time for you to worry about making yourself happy! If this man truly loves you, and makes you feel cared for and respected, then I think you should go for it. If you don't, it will affect your marriage anyway, because you will always be pining for him!
A
female
reader, Dawnest +, writes (8 January 2006):
I sense you married quite young and missed out on many of the fun things your friends did. Its always best to have a serious talk to your husband about the future/ask him to share an interest in something with you. If you honestly feel that nothing will change then make your plans and do the right thing for YOU not him but you. Other people dont pay your bills so ride the storm and dont take on board the criticisms and blame that will be thrown at you.
Its your life and I sense you now need mega doses of ME time to make up for so Go for it, girl! It will be the scariest decision you ever make but the end result will give you freedom of choice and the life you set out to make for yourself.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2006): go for it you only live once,why be unhappy do something you want for a change and stop thinking about others,i know it sounds selfish.but you will look back when you are alot older and wish you had done the things you want and it will be to late then.I feel the same as you,you just have to cut the safety net and jump.
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A
male
reader, harshbutfair  +, writes (8 January 2006):
 Screw your husband... And more than that, screw your family too! Do you want to waste another twenty years of your life?
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