I have so many complexes!

Tagged as: Dating, Trust issues

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Question - (17 February 2009)

2 Answers - (Newest, 17 February 2009)

A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

hello i have a question

any guy i liked rejects me and i don,t know how to meet a guy who i like who won,t rejected me.becasue it always happens.i am overweight ,shy,quite ,short,fat face ,tomboy like,and i am stressed living at home and i can,t get s job to meet a guy.even i like a guy on television who is taken even up sets me becasue i like him.i am going on my 30s and i never had a boyfreind and i never got my first kiss,but life in the town i live make impossible because there is no where to go,is a very small town,i am really stressed and depressed becasue i can,t have a boyfreind ever.

i think a guys life is far easier then a girl life,i wiah i was guy becasue guy is easier,

my father doesn,t treated me nice either treat me as if i was stupid .

i am so stressd by life,i am not younger either which makes also hard to meet a guy becasue guys wants girls in there 20s+ not in 30s.turing 30 is very scaring for me.

goodlooking guys wouldn,t fancy me becasue i am so plain and fat ,short and old,

View related questions: depressed, overweight

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A female reader, CherryBoom +, writes (17 February 2009):

hey there :)

i don't think that u should beat urself down by saying all of this.

believe me i know what u are talking about.

u should first work on your self-esteem before looking for a boyfriend. i think every guy is comfortable to be going out with a woman who loves herself.

if i was u i would note down the things i like about myself and then clip them to a mirror. the negative aspects of ur body, u could write down and figure a plan on how u will tackle down those problems.

believe me there are guys who are into chubby cute short women. and i believe that u have a nice character, which can outshine ur so called "overweight".

it's a head thing, u have to give urself time and be patient. cuz these things take time.

what can really help u is to have a spa/wellness day. believe me that really helps. go out with your friends. have fun and enjoy life. don't hold back just because u think u are to chubby or unattractive.

about ur small town, believe me in every town/village there is a possibility to go out and so on. u should probably check on your town/village website. or go have fun in the neighboring towns.

oh about the good looking guys thing. not all men who are good looking have a nice personality. some are just arrogant and aren't capable of having a relationship. they mostly use girls to have fun. but there are guys who treat women with respect and who learn how to appreciate u and your feelings. so psssh for good looking guys and go for an average looking guy.

as for ur dad, the best thing is to have a conversation on a day when he is not nagging on you. u tell him what bothers u about him being intolerant.

hope i could help a bit

take care ^^

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2009):

Hi, I see that you have a lot of issues. Have you happened to read any of the answers to these questions, they are very similar to your case and there is some very good advice in many of them.

I'd also like to add that I think you are approaching this in a counterproductive way. You should be looking for opportunities for personal growth rather than complaining about things. For example. Plain means you aren't trying to find and emphasize your best features. Practicing cleanliness, watching a few television programs on applying make up and how to dress to enhance your figure are easily done. Fat means you are not exercising and taking care of the only body you will get. You can change that with some effort. Short is a relative term, as is old. You are tall to someone who is 4 feet tall. You are young to someone who is 50.

You must learn to turn the switch in your head that causes you to be negative about everything. Practice saying positive things rather than negative things. You can do this. You may need to get professional counseling if you are having this much trouble coping. If you are in counseling and it is not helping, it is time to find another counnselor. Exercise will help you too because it causes chemical changes in the brain and releases endorphins which make you feel better about things and yourself. It is almost certain that you are not taking any exercise. You would be doing yourself a great favour by starting an exercise plan. You can begin today by taking a walk. If it is raining, stand in front of your television and march in place. If you are really physically disabled, you should consult with your GP before beginning an exercise regime.

Here's the list of questions with the answers that may help you cope:

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-facing-the-life-of-an-old-maid.html

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-do-i-stop-being-nervous-around-guys.html

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/being-left-behind-while-everyone-my-own-age.html

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/do-good-looking-people-get-advantages-in-life.html

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-do-you-relax-around-guys-when-you.html

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/advice-to-help-a-desperate-girl-out.html

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-can-i-do-to-be-brought-out.html

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-do-guys-boast-about-there-so-called.html

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/do-ugly-ducklings-ever-grow-into-swan.html

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/turning-30-soon-and-dreading-it-.html

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/because-of-learning-difficulties-i-feel-i-have.html