A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone:)Just want you opinions on something...I have recently met a lovely guy, I like him a lot and we have a lot of chemistry... but he's married.He has been separated from his wife for a few years and they are in the process of selling their house etc and tying things up and he's desperate to get on with his life. My friends/family have been warning me off him because he is not yet divorced. He has been completely honest with me about everything that happened and his intentions. She has a long term boyfriend, with whom I think she cheated with (the reason for the separation). I feel really sorry for him and understand his stress about getting all of this sorted out... I just want to know whether this is worth it... should I continue to pursue him?I know someone that has been going out with a married man for three years, and he's been putting off his divorce for five years because apparently they are expensive. But they are just fine together!! Am I wasting my time, because even if we end up in a relationship, will I always be stuck in the middle...? That's my fear...Thank you in advance!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (11 November 2011):
 Let's cut right to the quick of your query. It's this: "....but he's married."
Are you ready to sell your soul for a few minutes of orgasmic satisfaction? ... for a few stolen dates, before he returns home to his wife and his "real" life... leaving you behind like a worn-out shoe?
C'mon... you're "worth" much more than that!!!! Let him ply is lusty magic on some other gullible girl. YOU go out and find yourself a REAL man... who can be YOUR man.... and have a love life that you can hold your chin up and tell about to all your friends and relatives....
Good luck....
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 November 2011):
 Normally I would advice any one to stay away from a married person, becaue 9 out of 10 married people don't really want a divorce.
If you think ther is potential for you two, then stay friends, but I would let him know that you aren't interested in being a "bit on the side", so if he wants more that might come after the divorce.
If you jump in a relationship with him now, he has no reason to actually divorcing. Even if the marriage is way over, there is still the mutual benifits and comfort of being techinically married. This is what many hold on to after the marriage is over.
He might be worth the wait.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 November 2011):
I agree with the post below. It's worth remaining friends with him, and being there for some friendly support (not too much, or you'll get into the friend zone). But at this time, it's best to wait until he's divorced. You don't want to get stuck in a rut.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2011): If he cannot make the concrete decision to terminate his marriage- stay the heck away from him.
You will be far more happier and have a more peaceful life if you stand back and let him make an HONEST choice for himself and happiness with himself, his life and with someone else.
If he can finalize the divorce- he will do so and you and him, if he choses to be with you, will be that much more ahead in the trust department.
Wisdom must prevail.
From countless posts of the history of this site; from the impartial observers who are emotionally removed from the bias you have with this man, to those who have been in the same circumstances and their life lessons- the majority would declare what your FAMILY/FRIENDS declare-Those are loving, trusting people in your life who want you to be happy and they even tell you to what?
WAIT UNTIL HE IS DIVORCED. CLOSURE. Then there can be true forward movement void a heck of a lot of trama/drama.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (11 November 2011):
 You can remain friends if you think he's serious about you, but definitely wait until the divorce is finalized to act. You don't want to be stuck as the married guy's girlfriend, even if he is separated.
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