A
female
age
26-29,
*caredForLove
writes:Hi! Okay, I'm having an issue. There's this boy. Let's call him Tom. I used to be bestfriends with his sister and I used to have a MAJJOR crush on him. I was like IN LOVE with Tom. I thought he felt the same about me, but then people spread rumors about me...and well long story short, he thought I was a freak. Now I have a boyfriend who I do indeed love...most the time. I got over Tom. For like 6 months. But now I like/ "love" him again. Because he talked to me and I was so unprepaired for that. I'm pretty sure he still thinks im a weirdo. And I feel horrible for crushing on him while I'm with my boyfriend. I try not to think about Tom. But its hard because I see him a lot because my bf is kind of friends with him. Like a couple days ago I wasn't even thinking about him and I was hugging my bf goodbye when Tom came up to talk to him, and while I was hugging my boyfriend I looked at Tom and he just stared back at me. His eyes tear. Me. Apart. Anyway, I don't know what do to. I hate and like Tom at the same time. But I love my boyfriend too. And i dont want to think about Tom. Help? :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2011): I truly understand what you're going through. Sounds like you're muddled up and secretly yearn for both.Think about all the reason why you got together with your boyfriend. If they really make sense and give you a heart-warming feeling, stick to him like superglue! If your boyfriend is the mature and understanding type, break it to him slowly that you have bad history with Tom, and that you don't want to break up. He should be able to help you. WARNING! Be VERY delicate when you tell him about Tom.Think about why you liked Tom in the first place. Then think about whether it is worth it going through the pain of his ignoring you and treating you like a weirdo.Lastly, MOST IMPORTANT. Think about what made you decide to get together with your boyfriend and get over Tom. If you didn't think about ditching your feelings for Tom when you got together with your boyfriend, then truth is, YOU don't love either enough. Get away from them both in any way you prefer, and take some time off before dealing with love again. Next time, don't be a yo-yo; stay away from multiple loves!
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (12 November 2011):
 You need to break the relationship off and date. Youre not ready for a committment... except to twilight.
Regards
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (11 November 2011):
 There's a couple of ways you can handle this. The most obvious is to flip a coin..... determining before the fact that "heads" means you will take up with one of these guys, and "tails" means that it will be the other. Flip the darn thing.... look at the results and live with them...
P.S. You can't have it both ways..... i.e. playing each of them along indefinitely. They will find out and then BOTH of them are likely to drop you like a bad habit...
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 November 2011):
 If Tom thinks you are a freak well then you need to try and distance yourself from him, because this is not healthy at all. I think you need to accept that Tom doesn't want to be with you and nothing will ever happen. Once that is accepted you need to try and avoid him and cut him out of your life as much as you can. Concentrate on your relationship if it is really what you want and just try and forget about Tom.
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