A
male
age
,
*ard worker hoping for love
writes:My wife and I have had 20+ years of a rocky, but congenial marriage and the children are grown and successfully out on their own with good jobs or still finishing college. We agreed we would go our separate ways when the children were soundly off to a good start. I want to end the marriage since there are too many negatives and we are not at all similar in thoughts, our likes and dislikes and the future. When the time came after the children left, she cried and wanted to keep the marriage and is trying to change. Went to five sessions of counseling which said she was controlling and overly aggressive. It has now been a year and a half since the kids have left and I know that it will not work for me. I am still miserable when I am with her, have no respect other than she is the mother of our children, can't stand her or her family and know it will never work out. I hate to end the marriage, but I have nothing left inside for her and need some time to find myself again. Should I separate? Thank you in advance for trying to assist. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Hard worker hoping for love +, writes (12 December 2010):
Hard worker hoping for love is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your thoughts. Several of my friends and family members feel the same way. It will definitely be the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Thank you again and please pray for my family and me during these difficult times. Thank you again for your thoughts.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010): It sounds as if the marriage is dead. You stayed together for the children, then had counselling. You have exhausted the possiblities of making a go of things. Your poor wife is obviously clinging on, she would rather stick with what she has than face an uncertain future - all very natural. I would say you are at an age when you still can make futures for yourselves apart. It's sad to end a marriage, but if you feel there is not much of a future for you as a couple you need to end it in as fair a way as you can for both of you.
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A
female
reader, mysticpurple  +, writes (10 December 2010):
Hi there
You have already decided, theres nothing left for you.
It will be hard for you to leave but what alternative have you got if you are miserable.. no point in staying if its not for you.
You cant have a one sided realtionship its not fair on either of you .. yes your wife will be devastated but time is a healer, once over the hurt you both may be able to stay friends.
Good luck :)
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