A
female
age
41-50,
*tsbeen5years
writes:When I was 21 years old I met someone who has somehow preoccupied my thoughts for the last 8 years. This person is confusing and hateful but has everything someone like me could ever want though I am sure many would say he is out of my league. I have had every corny fantasy one can imagine about this person it is embarrassing. I very much want to secure a future with this person but not if he just wants to be friends. I have not seen this person in 5 years and it is completely crazy that I ever would want to see him again. Sometimes I feel a deep sadness thinking that I see him or sometimes Ill have a dream about him with someone. The past 8 years have been what were supposed to be the best years of my life but they have been the most challenging and painful times I have ever known and this person has been the most influential muse / satyr like person though if he does not want to be with me I wish to expunge him from my mind. I do not have a lot of experience with dating or relationships and have never had a boyfriend. How does someone like me pick up the pieces and find a romantic life without regretting the past? Am I crazy for still thinking I have a chance with this guy?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (14 September 2009):
 You've had an infatuation with an Ideal for 5 years. No one could live up to that, not even him.
A
female
reader, sunnycomet +, writes (14 September 2009):
 "this person is confusing and hateful"Do you really want to be with someone like that?My opinion is that you had a fantasy about this person that you need to let go. You have not seen him for 5 years so you don't know that much about him. People change and this guy might even be in a relationship.I know it will be very heard seeing as you have liked him for 8 years but I think you need to get over him, stop thinking of the past and start looking for the future. Date others and see how that goes once you are over him. Don't let this guy make your life miserable...life is too short for that. Good Luck!
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