A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:lately everyone seems to be falling out with each other, and i think its because of our exams looming ahead. but my two best friends have gone. with no reason at all. theyve both changed so much and that itself has been getting me down. as well as that ive been thinking of my non-exsistant dad, and the fact that my nephew is not far away but doesnt kno i exsist. my mum keeps mouthing off about my dad, and ill smile and agree so it doesnt piss her off. so even though i tell everyone i hate him, i dont. i miss him and just want a dad. because of not having a relationship with my dad i find it weird to be around male members in my family. its impossible to show affection to anyone really. i have boundry issues, and often cry because of him when im looking at the one picture i have of him and i when i was about six months old. even though im young i doubt im going to be able to be in love because i dont believe it is really there. if it was wouldnt my dad still see me?after another fight with my mum, i went up to my bedroom and .... i tell friends they are just dog scratches cos i dont want them to think anything bad about me. i kno this may sound sad and stupid but the one thing keeping me alive is my dog. cos shes the only one there 24/7 and doesnt judge me. so i went on this website about teen depression, cos my mum had it when i was born until i was six. and i looked at the signs - i have 9/12 of them. the thing is i dont want to tell my mum cos i think shes hiding from me that she still has it. theres days where she will come in from work and i just no shes throwing up in the bathroom. but she waves me off saying im being silly. the one person ive told is a girl i dont talk to at school, but all the time on msn. i darent tell anyone close because i dont trust them. i cant talk to my family cos they are messed up enough as it is.this may not be a love question like this site is about.. but i need help. i just dont no how to get it. i dont want to let anyone down. but i want out, i just dont want to carry on living. advice please?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunt tilly +, writes (2 May 2008):
 Please do not hurt youself sweetie, there are answers to the many questions that I feel you have. You are going through a very mixed bag of emotions, the bst way to deal with them is one by one. First of all I think you and your mum should have good chat with each other, and you can tell your mum exactly how your feeling, she will be there for you and help you. You and your mum could probably do with spemding some quality time together, it sounds as though it would do her good as well, what ever issues yor mum has from the past, she may have been trying to protect you in her own way, talk to each other ask her the things you need to know about your father. If she's willing to tell you you then could decide as to whether you would like to track him down and ask him things that you need to know. what ever happens trust your mum work it out together, if you feel you still need that little bit more encoutagement to face it all then as the aunts have said, call the childline they have ecellent people who will guide you in the right direction and can help you a lot. Please take care sweetie we are all here for you, please contact us if you need us. x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008): Hiya i know what u r going through i dont see my dad and i cant get close to male members in my familey as well. There were times when i thought about nasty things but then i REALISED it wasn't worth it because at the end of the day u're better then that! Because i haven't had a father figure in my life i have turned out to be gay and i cant tell my mum because i know that she will be dissapointed in me. But for ur depression i would give childline a call there phone number is 08001111 and they are open 24 hrs 7 days a week. I wish u all the best. Jamie
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A
female
reader, Pinksummer +, writes (1 May 2008):
No wonder you feel so helpless you have so much going on in your life at the moment. Firstly you are not letting anyone down, not your Mum, not yourself not anyone. Do you feel like you want to talk to someone about things? Don't feel scared of talking to your mum, she loves you and i'm sure she would love to know you could share your problems with her.I understand your feelings about your Dad, I have never met mine, it used to bother me a lot. Your Mum is angry at him but is not fair that she should be making you feel that way too. he is your Dad whatever has happened between him and your Mum and whether he has been in your life or not then that dopesn't change that you want him to be part of your life.Love is there and you will find it when the time is right. Is hard to understand when you are the child but having children is complicated and sadly so often happens that the adults can not make it work that everyone gets enough love. I so sorry you are the one who misses out so much.please don't hurt yourself, that is not the answer to any of your problems, and I promise you there are answers and a way out. I do know how you feel I promise please feel free to reply to me if you want to talk more. xx
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A
female
reader, Miggy +, writes (1 May 2008):
It sounds like your having a really hard time at the moment. Well, you say one of your problems is your mum, I think if you sit her down and maybe tell her how you feel and that you know she has been throwing up and how much its worrying you then perhaps she will stop. Also, your friends. Unfortunatly friends do change, mine have done it before, and i think what you need to do is to find some new friends...ones you can trust, even if it means looking for new people. With the male problem, just try chatting with a few guys from your school, hopefully this will give you some confidence for the future. Whatever you do, dont end your life, you have a lot to live for, your only yound and there is hope. I think ringing childline might also help, if you want the number then just email me. and good luck.
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