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female
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anonymous
writes: HiMy parents spit up this year and I'm really torn up about it. I'm fifteen now and they have wanted to get divorced since I was nine. I have never talked about it to anyone. I decided that I was gonna try to talk to my friend (30), but when I tried to talk to her about it over emails she told me that I shouldnt be talking about this to her and that I should talk to my mum or my aunt. I can't talk to anyone else. I don't want to make her mad at me but is there any way that I could convince her to let me talk to her about this? And is there any reason that she would say that?Thanks
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male
reader, malaysianfeet +, writes (25 January 2006):
Their divorce had nothing to do with you. Their issues are too complicated for you to understand. What you are disturbed about is the emotional adjustment that follows every break up in a family.Your situation is understandable. But your friend isnt the person you should turn to for help. She cant help. She is being blunt. You are better off with a qualified adult to deal with this issue.
1. Seek a counselor fast.
2. Follow up with the person.
3. Get back to your priorities. It may not seem like a good idea to you now. But they are probably wresling with their break up to care for you. They are being thoughtless and care'less'. Understandly.
4. You have a life. Dont exist. Seize it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2006): My parents divorced when I was eight years old, and my younger sister was only three! It can be difficult coping with divorce, and many children feel like they have no-one to turn to. No matter what, remember that your parents love you even though they don't love each other and it's not your fault.
Having divorced parents isn't all bad though, just imagine, two birthdays, two easters, two christmases..... It can be used to your advantage.
Whenever you feel down about your parents divorce, just think that you'd rather have two happy houses, than one unhappy one, wouldn't you? I know I did when my parents split.
Don't get too down about it, your situation could be worse, think about all those poor people from Iraq who've parents have died. You haven't got it as bad as you think you have, sweetheart.
Don't be afraid about talking to your mum about it, she'll probably be glad that you approach her about it rather than her having to approach you, you can both help each other through hard times.
If you really feel unable to talk to her about it, then just take my advice. You will feel very upset about for a very long time to come, but the pain will fade, you've got better things to do in your life than sit around and mourn, so I say get out there with your friends and have some fun to take your mind off things!
Good luck! XXXXX
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2006): hello you must try to talk to your parents .try to explain how you feel about their divorce . BUT remember they are divorcing each other not YOU ..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2006): hi, my parents divorced when i was 12 (im 20 now) and i never talked about it with anyone. im learning now that i should have. i cant really understand why your friend wouldn't talk to you, maybe she feels like its not her business? im not sure. i know i dont know you, but if you want to write me an email i'd talk to you. im not weird, but i just dont think people should go through that alone. Besides that, write your friend an email telling her that it hurt you that she couldnt be there for you when you need her. good luck w/ everything, it will be hard, but it does get better.
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A
female
reader, Dawnest +, writes (15 January 2006):
is there a counsellor at your school? Talk to them because they are trained to help and guide you through the problems you are experiencing. They listen and advise and its all confidential. Find out if there is a pupils counsellor and book a session with them. You will feel alot better and not so alone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2006): Divorce is never easy. We all want our parents to stay together. What you are feeling is normal. Stop punishing yourself. Unfortnately, divorce does happen. Because your parents have split up does not mean you can't be happy. Remember, your parents deserve to be happy to. If your parents stayed together, your household environment would have probably been worse and upset you more. Take advantage of the individual time you get with your parents. Yuo'll be amazed how much fun you will have. Most of all, be honest with them, they need to know that you are hurting! It's amazing how a hug and hot chocolate can start a conversation. Remember both your parents love you so so so much and they always will!!!
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