A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello,Recently I met in person, for the first time, a girl that I have been talking to (online/phone). We clicked over the phone and always had lots to chat about. We agreed to meetup after chatting on and off for two years. She was more nervous about meeting up than I. She flew to my city and stayed with me at my place. We had a great weekend. I was bowled over by her beauty and fun personality and found myself having romantic feelings for her, so much so that I was even day-dreaming about us being married some day which is very unusual for me!! I normally get scared at such thoughts, being the commitment-phobe that I am. Anyway, I was so attracted to her I began to get nervous around her and we had a couple of awkward silences as a result. I couldn't gauge if she felt attracted to me which made me feel even more unsure of myself. I never made the 'move' until our last day together. She got a little bit tipsy and mentioned that she knew I was attracted to her but didn't know why I was being so passive. She said I was stuck in the friends zone. At this point I kissed her as she said she had romantic feelings for me also. I was so happy and we held hands and had a bit of a cuddle for the next couple of hours. However, gradually she got very quiet and was leff affectionate. We hung out for a while longer until the time came when I had to drive her to the airport so she could catch her flight home. We spoke little on the drive to the airport. When I left her she just said thanks for everything, we hugged and she took off. She never made any suggestion that we should meetup again. We've exchanged a couple of messages online since then but its as if she has just gone cold on me. I'm thinking of just calling her up to say "Hey Guess, what! I'm coming to your city to visit you". Should I? I really like this girl and am prepared to have a LTR with her and see where it goes. However, I don't know why she is blowing hot and cold..I have never felt so strongly about a girl before and I really want to win her over. Help! Comments welcome!Thanks. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the responses! Its really appreciated. The general consensus in your replies was that I should communicate to her how I feel. Well thats I did over the phone last night and she just skirted around the issue and talked about everything else under the sun but not us. I can read between the lines... if she was interested, I think I would know by now. I should probably just move on. But another part of me says, "She is the girl of your dreams, Go get her!" ?? So my next question is should I call it a day with her, move on and try to forget about her or should I still chase her.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2008): either, she didnt feel the same as you did, and just went along with it not to hurt your feelings, or she to felt the same as you and was too shy or nervous to communicate/act her feelings. You have to communicate to her and tell her how you feel, so u 2 can also get the truth out of her, that way you both can persue the relationship further, or end it.
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A
male
reader, Cowboy  +, writes (9 November 2008):
I don't know if telling her Surpise! I'm coming to see you! is such a good idea, it may seem a little like you're stalking her.
I think you should send her an email apologising for seeming off with her, and explaining why.
Tell her that you liked her even more than you were expecting to, and because of that you froze.
Why did you sit holding hands with her and cuddling for so long? Sounds to me like she was expecting something a little more, and started to get bored....
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A
female
reader, claire1988 +, writes (9 November 2008):
 be honest with how you feel i was in this kinda situation with my now boyfriend we liked each other but neither of us would say anything and after meeting a few times it all became clear. so it's better to be honest and open then to never know wat could of been. you'll never know if you dont try
good luck
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A
male
reader, the one who doesn't know  +, writes (9 November 2008):
 it would be better, to know more of why she's like that, but if you can't...then maybe that message would be the best option...
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