A
female
age
36-40,
*harl123
writes:I am a 22 female and finally met the man of my dreams. When I see him I think how gorgeous he is, he treats me like an absolute princess, hes kind to me, caring, helpful, thoughtful...basically as if sent from heaven. BUT...I have COMPLETELY lost my sex drive. I have been cheated on by every guy ive been with in the past but never cheated myself. He has never cheated and I do not worry that he ever would as he is so nice. Im used to bad boys keeping me on edge, making me cry, but making me want them badly. This guy is the nicest guy in the world and gorgeous so why dont I want him in the bedroom? He is black and is very big in the downstairs department which can hurt the majority of the time at the beginning of intercourse (I have been checked out and got the all clear). I was on the pill for a year which I hear can make you lose your sex drive so I have stopped taking it now. I think and worry there is something wrong with me all the time and often cry myself to sleep or to him. He says he does not care of we never have sex again as long as he is with me. I worry im going off the one good thing in my life, but then I realise I find other people attractive, but also would not feel like I could have sex with them either...so its clearly me. We have been together 7 months, and at the beginning of the relationship we were doing it about twice a day. Surely we should still be at that honeymoon period? Please please help. Im at my wits end and dont know what to do!
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period, sex drive, the pill Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (30 July 2010):
 It sounds like the guy does love you but maybe your just not ready for sex. Dont put too much time and effort into thinking about it as it will add to the pressure.
If he really and truly loves you he will wait until you are ready.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010): My girlfriend has no libido either but her and her husband agree to do it as often as he needs.
Every couple has their things that challenge them. You are very fortunate he is accepting of you with your current condition so count your blessings!
Get to a doctor and at least diagnose your condition. I bet if you put your mind to it you will get a hold of effective resources to resolve this.
Congratulations on being in a successful relationship.
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A
female
reader, Carina1993 +, writes (30 July 2010):
Maybe you just see him as a friend?
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A
male
reader, werther  +, writes (30 July 2010):
you sound a bit hurt by old relations, maybe listen to yourself, don´t have sex when you don´t feel like it.....
the sexdrive will come back. but there are things that can turn you on that´s not intercourse or oralsex or handjobs,
make a plan check with yourself what "other things" turn you on, except the actual act of sex....
talking , dancing, take a bath, touch each other( but not the genitals) ask what turns him on.
but take some time for yourself, masturbate when/if you feel like it...
find your fantasies....
ask about his....
explore them together...
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A
female
reader, Jessica Wheate +, writes (30 July 2010):
Dont rush into things babe.
just talk to him about things.
ium sure things wil turn around soon.
:) x
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