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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I have experienced a traumatic relationship. I was assaulted by the guy I once loved. I fell into depression for a very long time. I have even transferred to another university to avoid him. I have obsessively fallen for my teacher since last autumn. I have been resisting the urge to make a confession to him. It is extremely embarrassing... I feel ashamed of having sexual drive towards him. Many acquaintances portray my feeling as an infatuation, but I am determined not to fall in love again until I find someone who has a great resemblance to him. I want a guy who'll treat me with respect and kindness. Earlier this year, I infected the winter vomiting disuse when the norovirus was prevalent. I insisted to attend his seminar when I was suffering from severe abdomen pain. I went into the classroom late and there were no chairs left. I guess he might have noticed that I was ill. He offered me his chair and stood for the whole lesson. I guess I have left a deep impression on him, because he often asks me to participate in the seminar discussion. I always gaze at him when he is lecturing. It may be a mistaken impression, but I think he is starting to avoid eye contact with me. I feel a bit anxious, as I do not want to bring inconvenience to him. I am also concerned that if I made a confession to him, he would report to the discipline. I understand he has to protect himself, not necessarily from me, but from suspicion and false accusation. I know my love for him is destined to be unrequited. I do not expect him to like me. I want to leave a good impression on him and keep contact with him after I graduate from university. My last relationship has taken away my confidence. I have lost the confidence I need for a healthy relationship. I know I can never find someone who can compare to him. He is perfect in my eyes. It seems to me that my admiration to that teacher will be everlasting.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, madflash  +, writes (13 April 2008):
 Ah, obsession, love's evil twin.Yes. You are obsessed. This is brought on by several factors. Loneliness, depression, feelings of inadequacy, alienation from 'normal' relations, a rich romantic fantasy life, and the perfect image of a lover with all the perfect attributes of character who is 'inconviently' or 'oh so conveniently' taboo!You are a helpless victim, milady, a desert flower begging for rains that will not come. Yet you're all abloom.How sweet your beautiful and sad aroma must be. I'd love to wash away your pain in passion myself, and the good teacher, your perfect love, must fantasize about doing just that.But all he's given you is an image to cling to and a dream to cherish. Maybe that's all he can give, despite what you or he desire.Find another dreamer like yourself, my sweet. Or lose yourself to unrequited desire.best wishes with your obsession... I have my own to attend.Madflash
A
female
reader, criollaIllinois +, writes (13 April 2008):
Just concentrate on getting well emotionally. You are really vulnerable now and you could make a mistake by acting too quickly. I know it probably isn't what you want to hear. However, you need to fix YOU first..then move on.
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