A
male
 ,
*avid Lewis
writes:I have just found out that I am dying, but have just got engaged last week.My fiancee has noticed that I am crying all the time and keeps asking what is wrong, she seems to think I have guilty feelings about something and is starting to accuse me of cheating.I love my fiancee more than anything and would never make her unhappy.There is an age gap in our relationship, I am 29, she is 16, so insecurity is also an issue.I have no idea how to tell her I am dying, please help me somebody.
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male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (2 July 2006):
David Lewis is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks everyone.
A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (19 June 2006):
 Good luck honey!
xx
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A
male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (19 June 2006):
David Lewis is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks willywombat
We are doing really well and have just got back from Paris.
There is no bitterness between us at all.
There was some tension, but she has been completely forgiven.
Her parents are coming round tonight to try to get to know me. They do not approve of the relationship because of the age, but I think ours is one of the most loving relationships ever.
I am just nervous.
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (18 June 2006):
I am deeply deeply sorry for your situation David and if at any time I cvan help with a message of hope I would hope it would be now. But words fail me. I cannot begin to imagine how you must feel, the frustration and anger and unbearble sadness at being torn away from your loved ones before your *time*.If the people here can help you then continue to take their help. If you feel you can help others and that gives you a boost and some joy - then likewise. Let all the bitterness between you and your GF fall away and instead. Forget the bitterness and tension and make the most of each minute.I wish you all the very best, and I will be presumptuous enough to say a prayer for you. xxx
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female
reader, carebear +, writes (17 June 2006):
 hi david
i read your post and i too agree with wild thaing you should be out there spending this time with g/f family and friends i am glad your going to vegas live it up lol do all things you want to do the only concern that i have is maybe your g/f is a bit young to deal with all of this so hope you have close supprt from family i also think you are very brave to post this you have spoke from the heart and i am sure everyone will sigh when they read this post you take care of yourself and my thoughts are with you
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male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (16 June 2006):
David Lewis is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am sorry for my presumptions Wildthang.
I had misinterpreted your suggestion
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (16 June 2006):
 Wendy was actually right about what I was trying to say - I wasn't really articulating what I meant. Sorry David.
I tend to think of this place as somewhere virtual. There are lots of good people here who want genuinely want to help and support - I've read this thread and see it. But this space is so one-dimensional, so for me this place is not real.
There are real people around you David whom I expect can give you support in ways that we in the cyberspace world just can't... because we're not there beside you.
And there are people who always need good counsel, and you are doing God's work by selflessly continuing to dispense this counsel.
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A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (15 June 2006):
 I think what wildthaing was saying, is that you should get out and experience life more while you can... not sure... But anyway I think you give good advice, and if it makes you feel good hun, stick with it!
Take care xx
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A
male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (15 June 2006):
David Lewis is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhy should I leave?Am I not allowed to give other people advice?
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing +, writes (15 June 2006):
This is when you find out who your kindred spirits are. They are the ones that will be with you to the end. Embrace them so that they carry your memory after you are gone.
If you are still on this forum, leave now and experience life with your kindred spirits. We are not those people. Take care.
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A
female
reader, hannieseds  +, writes (15 June 2006):
 ...because once in your life, whatever she was to the world she becomes everything to you. When you look her in the eyes, travelling to the depths of her soul, and you say a millon things without a trace of sound, you know that your own life is inevitably consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her heart. You love her for a million reasons; no paper would do it justice. It is a thing, an indescribe aching, a feeling you never want to let go of...
sending you my love from that little country @ the bottom of the world xxx
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male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (15 June 2006):
David Lewis is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes I am
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2006): Are you the same David Lewis that has become an agony aunt here?
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A
male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (13 June 2006):
David Lewis is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI told her last night.
She blames herself because of the cheating.
I asked her to come to the doctors with me and explained that I had the illness before we met, so not blame herself.
The hardest part for me was seeing those tears rolling from her heart, I was wiping them away and holding her close to my chest. She was in hysterics, but we agree to live each day as it comes and make every second count.
Thanks for everybody's advice, you have ALL been a big help. I will never forget you all for helping me through the hardest part of my life.
xxx
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A
male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (11 June 2006):
David Lewis is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have accepted that, we spoke on the phone and I am planning on taking her back.
She apologised to me andI do believe her to be sincere.
I am going to take her to Las Vegas soon as a surprise, but I will tell her about illness when she comes over tonight.
I will ask her to come to the doctors with me, then leave things up to her and let her decide how she feels about the future.
I will support whatever she decides and will always be there for her,even if she decides to not be with me.
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A
female
reader, jaxwardle86 +, writes (11 June 2006):
 well i guess that clears up the insecurity issue. my heart goes out to you. as for the affair you have to accept that she is young and may never have had sex with another bloke before you and once she did felt extremely confused i know how she feels as i was 16 when i started my husband and we have the same age gap between us i felt like i wasn't seeing enough of life to decide if i wanted marraige and kids. Thankfully my husband forgave me and we have now had 2 kids together and a very happy marriage.
I think that taking her to the doctors with you would be the best way for you illness to come out as if you or she decide that you need councilling to help you both deal with it you can do it there and then. Please keep me posted jax xxx
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male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (11 June 2006):
David Lewis is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks allI tried to tell her yesterday, but when I sat her down, she confessed to cheating on me.She has been with some guy 6 times over space of 2 months.Now I am unsure whether to take her back, she says she is sorry and is begging for forgiveness.I dont know what I ever did to deserve all this.
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female
reader, bonym +, writes (10 June 2006):
 All the best David, I hope everything goes ok as my heart truly goes out to you. xXx
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male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (10 June 2006):
David Lewis is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone, you are all so supportive.I plan to tell her soon, I need to let my mum know too.I am just gonna make sure that the remaining time she has with me is the best times of her life.I never thought it possible for anybody to love someone the way I love her.
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female
reader, bonym +, writes (10 June 2006):
David, this is awful, you are so young as well and to have this burden on you must be so stressful. If you dont tell her, she will be absoulutely devasted beyond measure if you were to unfortunately pass away suddenly. If you do tell her, then at least she will be prepared, you can have special last moments together etc. David, I dont know what illness you have and neither do I know your life span, but let me tell you this, the time you have together ought to be precious, tell her gently, but dont hide it from her, it will make it harder for her to cope with. You take care. xxx
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male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (10 June 2006):
David Lewis is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both, I have made an appointment with my doctor for tuesday, so I am gonna take her with me.I was thinking of marrying her before I go, but that is not a good idea. I dont want her to be a widow at 16.I am just terrified that she will be upset, I promised her that I would never make her cry, now I have to put her through this.I love her so much, but things were never easy with us.We started going out when she was 15, but there was no sexual contact or anything, we were more like just good friends, so some peoples opinions of us put a huge strain on our relationship, yet we managed to come through that.All I ever wanted was for her to be happy, now I will put her through more sadness than she ever imagined.
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female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (10 June 2006):
Oh David, I am so sorry to hear that, words fail me at the moment. I will do my best to advise as if I were in that position. Just be open and honest with her, it will be hard to hear at first but she needs to know to be able to be with you more and help you if you need it. You cant have her carrying on thinking that you are cheating when you are in fact unwell. You cant have her having these ill feeling towards you if she thinks your cheating, she will feel so bad when she knows the real reason you are upset. Tell her and tell her soon. I know its early news for you and you need to get your own head around it, but the sooner you tell her, the sooner you will have someone to help deal with the burden. You are engaged she wants to be with you, she loves you and will do everything she can to be there for you. Sit her down quietly and just blurt it out, there is no good way to hear about this, you just need to let her know the best way you can, my heart goes out to you. If you need someone to chat to, even just to vent some things, please feel free to email me.
Take care xx xx
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A
female
reader, autie emmie +, writes (10 June 2006):
oh sweety what a shame i'm so sorry to hear that you poor angelwell the best thing you can do is to sit down and tell her calmly and tell her firstly to stay calm and try not to get up-set as you are telling her.i hope she'll understand in fact i know she will an hopefully she'll stay by your side the whole timegood luck sweetyall my wishes auntie emmie x
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A
female
reader, autie emmie +, writes (10 June 2006):
oh sweety what a shame i'm so sorry to hear that you poor angelwell the best thing you can do is to sit down and tell her calmly and tell her firstly to stay calm and try not to get up-set as you are telling her.i hope she'll understand in fact i know she will an hopefully she'll stay by your side the whole timegood luck sweetyall my wishes auntie emmie x
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female
reader, sibaan +, writes (10 June 2006):
 you need to take her with you to your next dovctors appointment and let the doctor explain everything to her while you are there then afterwards tell her that you love her and that you need her there for you.
let me know how things go...
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