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female
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*appinessizoutthere
writes: hi everybody im so glad i found this website cause i need advice really bad ok it started in nov of 2004 i started seeing this married man see he told me from the beginning that they were planning on getting divorced so we started seeing each other and i ended of getting pregnat im only 17 he is 30 but he told me that he promised he would leave his wife for me and our baby see he dont have any kids with this woman so he has no attachments to her but he still hasnt left her and my son is 4 months old now and he keeps promising and promising that hes going to leave so i dont know what i should do please help
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female
reader, uonlyliveonce  +, writes (5 July 2006):
 right ok lets say this man meant what he said 'her kids really love him so it would take some time'
right aside from the fact thats absolute bullshit and you choose to believe him what exactly are you waiting for? her kids 2 stop loving him? look at it realistically thats not going to happen is it. there not even his real kids i he was a half decent person he would put YOUR child his own flesh and blood first.
this man is lying to you and for as long as your inn love with him you wont see that so no matter how many times we tell you i think your just gonna keep on hoping he will come back to you. love hurts i know but for your own sake walk away and dont look back.
hope it all works out for you. x x x
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (3 July 2006):
 Well from your follow up I can only say not only is this guy a cheater he's also stupid. Get rid of him and take care of your son. Get going.
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female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (3 July 2006):
 Not alot you can really do.... If hes not going to leave her, you have to accept it... You will get child support for the child though so get that put into action. But you cant make a man do something he doesnt want to do. He was clearly lying to you at the start, and you let him lie to you. Unfortunately for you along the way you became pregnant, he had no intention of leaving you was just a bit of fun for him. You will have to walk away on this one and look after your baby. Hes not going to leave you no matter what you try. Shame as it is hun your on your own... you can do it and there are suuport groups out there if you need help.
Take care x
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female
reader, willywombat +, writes (3 July 2006):
 walk away
they may not be his biological kids, but they are still his kids if he has been there raising them for her.
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female
reader, happinessizoutthere +, writes (2 July 2006):
happinessizoutthere is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsee his wife did find out about me when i was pregnat she came up to my work and cussed me out and he claims the reason he hasnt left yet is because her kids really love him and he said it would take some time but i have been waitin and waitin he told me that he didnt marry her for the right reason he said the only reason why he married her was because she was inlove with him and wanted to get married and he did cause he didnt want to hurt her
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female
reader, willywombat +, writes (2 July 2006):
You want him to leave his wife for you and your child. he has no commitments to her .....sorry he has, he said vows.
Ok, you want to break them up, get in touch with a lawyer and send him a child support demand letter.
chances are they will break up, but you won't get him either.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (2 July 2006):
I always have zero sympathy for women or men that get involved with a married person. Their excuses and reasons are always very stupid and pathetic. Your case however is different because a child is involved. You have no rights coming to you but the child does have rights. You must focus on these and forget about yourself and your relationship with this scoundrel. Get child support set up through a lawyer and the courts so that you son can at least be provided for in the future. The wife will of course find out but then maybe she's been done that road before with her lousy husband. You need to take care of the child and move on with you life. Hard lesson but I hope you've learn it. Good luck.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2006): You really should have never got involved with this guy.He was just playing you for sex.File for child support if you can in your country!If he did ever leave her for you he will probably do the same to you in time.
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female
reader, Seratuki +, writes (2 July 2006):
 Okay...
First off, getting involved with a married man was a bad idea in the first place, however, that ship has sailed...
Anyway, he's playing around with you, you say he doesn't have children with his wife...obviously he's got something going on, have you bothered to look into it?
He may be lying to you.
My advice is to forget about waiting around for this guy and get yourself straightened out, concentrate on the baby and your future, you're so young to be caught up in all this drama.
Move on, make a life for yourself and your little one...However, make sure you get child support, he's legally binded to pay it.
Speak to a lawyer and move on with your life sweetie.
All the best!
S-T-
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female
reader, uonlyliveonce +, writes (2 July 2006):
the best thing you can do is walk away you say he has no attachment to this woman yet he married her so obviously there was emotional attachment with her. i know this isnt what you want to hear but at end of the day an affair is based on sex and the excitemnt of getting caught cheating. how strong is your relationship with this man is it just passion and sex or something deeper do you love him and do you know that he loves you?
as exciting as an affair can be how could you trust a man who cheated on his wife? if he cheated on her how do you know he wouldnt do the same behind your back? and he's been having an affair so obviusly he's become quite a good liar if his wife hasnt found out yet.
im not been patronising because im only the same age as you but sometimes when you love someone you cant see whats right infront of you no matter how many times anyone tells you. lads the same age as us can be great liars and tell us exactly what we want to hear so i dare say a man of 30 has had years of practice of saying the right things to get what he wants. he's been telling you they're going to get a divorce for 2year now so there must be a pretty strong reason why it still hasnt happened. your believing what you want to believe because sometimes the truth hurts and we cant have what we want.
not all lads are cheats and liars (even though i find it hard to believe sometimes lol) but from what you've said it isnt looking too good.
i have a baby too and believe a baby wont make a relationship work it makes it ten times harder and you deserve someone who'l treat you both right and make you happy you dont deserve to be 'the other woman' . you cant keep holdin out for his empty promises that might never happen. look after you son he's the most important thing in your life now. good luck x x
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